IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think news has no connection to people's lives, so then it is a waste of time to read the news in the newspaper and watch television news programmes. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #news #connection #lives #waste #time #newspaper #television #programmes
This
 pie chart depicts where the
budget
 went in 2000 and how the UAE government spent 315 billion. It is obvious from the graph that how the
money
 was spent. According to what is shown, the social security is the most
stage
 take
money
 from the
budget which
Accept comma addition
budget, which
 was taken 30 percentages of the
budget
 and that illustrates, it is the most important part of the government.
However
,
health
 and personal social services was the
second
stage
 given
money
, due to
health
 is the most important part of the citizen and that because they need stay healthy and find significant
health
 care for their children.
On the other hand
, what's still in the
budget
 was
gone
Suggestion
going
 to others
stage
such
 as, education was given nice
money
 around 38 billion, I think that for preparation wonderful level of education.
Although
 the most
budget
 was going to education and
health
 care, other
stage
 got what they need to continue working
also
 to do their duties. To sum up, we could say social security was taken the most proportion of the
budget
 whereas the housing got the lowest.
Submitted by Nawaf on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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