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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people believe that individuals are responsible for their own happiness, while others think happiness is dependent on other external factors. Discuss both views and include your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and examples from your experience.

#people #individuals #happiness #factors
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It is often argued whether
happiness
 is the state of
one
's mind or it depends on other factors that include wealth, health, family, friends, and career.
Although
 few people are extremely optimistic in bad circumstances, additional factors have a prominent role to play to make
one
's life happy. On the
one
 hand, few people consider
happiness
 a sole responsibility of an individual.
This
 is because they have the perception that every person should have control over their emotions.
However
Accept comma addition
However, this
this
 is not possible for the majority of people, and I hold the other opinion that favours the need of external factors in maintaining
one
's
happiness
. To exemplify, 90% of the wealthiest people are finding more happy as compared to the poor and middle-class
On the other hand
, most people deem that external factors matter more in
one
's life.
That is
 to say that everyone has some expectations
such
 as a good family, big house, bank balance, and a Porsche car, and if not achieved, it can lead to disenchantment and dissatisfaction.
In other words
, fulfilling the dreams not only contributes to a sense of contentment, but
also
 encourages people to earn more in order to satisfy their desires.
Therefore
, external factors play a significant role to make people remain happy in their lives,
such
 as family support and money. To conclude, despite few people hold the opinion that
happiness
 can be achieved by non-consideration of other factors, I believe that a person can never remain happy if things go wrong and against
one
's expectations.
Submitted by Kanwaldeep Singh on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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