The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The number of people with overweight problems has risen in the past couple of years. The hospitals are trying to deal with it, but without success.
However
, some people think that the best way to tackle
this
situation is to change the school curriculum adding more physical education lessons. Overall, I think it is a great opportunity and I agree with those people.
For example
, the physical education lessons in the school curriculum will help kids to think about overweight and starting to practice some activities in a more familiar way. Because of
this
they will grow seen that physical activities are important, and they will keep doing when they left school. It is the best way to introduce the kids to physical daily activities and to keep children fit and do not gain weight since younger.
Similarly
, the health system will not collapse because those people that are supposed to be overweight will not be. They will keep doing exercises when adults because they learned when young
that is
the best thing to do.
For instance
, they will make some time before or after work to keep their daily physical activity. Helping their bodies to keep fit and well. What people have learned at the institute will make them aware of the overweight problems that they can have in the future. In conclusion, I totally agree
that is
the introduction of more physical education lessons will help the health system overweight issue. Tackling the problem where it actually began.
Submitted by Pryscilla on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rates
  • health care system
  • physical education
  • instill
  • long term
  • raise awareness
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • nutritional education
  • active transport
  • quality of instruction
  • facilities and equipment
  • diet control initiatives
  • community sports programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: