Many people think that happiness relies upon the individual, while others think it is affected by other factors. discuss both views and give your opinion

Many people think that

happiness

is our responsibility, while others believe that external factors play a major role in it. I believe we can not link our

happiness

to physical entities, nor to persons, cause it will only deprive us of more things that could make us happier. We don’t live in a bubble, we are not independent, so that it is reasonable to associate our

happiness

with external factors

such

as money, success, parents' approval, or even the need to fit into society. “Free

Happiness

”, as I would call it, is only lived during our childhood. We found joy in trivial things and anything would put a smile on our faces, but once we knew the real world the perspective of

happiness

changed and it became the result of the synergy between several factors,

for example

, a degree, a career, a home, and a family.

For instance

, how can you be happy if you are struggling to feed your family, to keep a job or to succeed in your studies? Nothing is free and nor is

happiness

Therefore

, it is not in our

hand

Suggestion

hands

to ensure

happiness

, like everything else in

this

life we should work hard for it.

On the other hand

, some people believe that if we want to be truly happy we need to learn how to be happy on our own and never associate our

happiness

with non-stop changing factors.

furthermore

in addition

Furthermore

, how can we find joy with the weight of responsibilities, thinking about the future, or always adapting to changes so we can maintain

this

illusion

happiness

? It is advisable to feed our ambitions, yet we cannot make it the sole mean to achieve

happiness

For instance

, can a rich man

Suggestion

is being

happy without the love of a family, can a poor man be satisfied with the cosiness of his small house, the laughter of his children and the hunger of their bellies.

Happiness

can be found in whenever we want only if we don’t

bound

Suggestion

bind

it something. In my opinion, the peace of mind and heart is the only important thing in

this

life.

happiness

Suggestion

Happiness

is only an illusion, something we create it cause we needed a purpose to live, to thrive and to make sense of

this

hardship we are facing. I believe

happiness

is not the light at the end of the tunnel, it is not the end of a race, it is only the feeling of being grateful for a small thing.

Also

, I strongly believe that if you lose your inner child, you can be happy because true

happiness

is not bound to anything or anyone. To conclude, every one of us deserves to be happy, whatever meaning or definition we give it, we should always search for it and find it in ourselves or in other factors.

Submitted by Loufa on Thu Jun 18 2020

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

468 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people think that happiness relies upon the individual, while others think it is affected by other factors. discuss both views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to older more traditional values such as respect for the and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people judge success solely by money and material possessions. however, success can be achieved or measured in other ways. What are your opinion about this subject?

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming more popular. Some feels this is a positive trend ,while others don't. what's your opinion?

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?