Many people think that happiness relies upon the individual, while others think it is affected by other factors. discuss both views and give your opinion

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Many people think that

happiness

Use synonyms

is our responsibility, while others believe that external factors play a major role in it. I believe we can not link our

happiness

Use synonyms

to physical entities, nor to persons, cause it will only deprive us of more things that could make us happier. We don’t live in a bubble, we are not independent, so that it is reasonable to associate our

happiness

Use synonyms

with external factors

such

Linking Words

as money, success, parents' approval, or even the need to fit into society. “Free

Happiness

Use synonyms

”, as I would call it, is only lived during our childhood. We found joy in trivial things and anything would put a smile on our faces, but once we knew the real world the perspective of

happiness

Use synonyms

changed and it became the result of the synergy between several factors,

for example

Linking Words

, a degree, a career, a home, and a family.

For instance

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, how can you be happy if you are struggling to feed your family, to keep a job or to succeed in your studies? Nothing is free and nor is

happiness

Use synonyms

Therefore

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, it is not in our

hand

Suggestion

hands

to ensure

happiness

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, like everything else in

this

Linking Words

life we should work hard for it.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some people believe that if we want to be truly happy we need to learn how to be happy on our own and never associate our

happiness

Use synonyms

with non-stop changing factors.

Linking Words

furthermore

in addition

Furthermore

, how can we find joy with the weight of responsibilities, thinking about the future, or always adapting to changes so we can maintain

this

Linking Words

illusion

happiness

Use synonyms

? It is advisable to feed our ambitions, yet we cannot make it the sole mean to achieve

happiness

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For instance

Linking Words

, can a rich man

Suggestion

is being

happy without the love of a family, can a poor man be satisfied with the cosiness of his small house, the laughter of his children and the hunger of their bellies.

Happiness

Use synonyms

can be found in whenever we want only if we don’t

bound

Suggestion

bind

it something. In my opinion, the peace of mind and heart is the only important thing in

this

Linking Words

life.

Use synonyms

happiness

Suggestion

Happiness

is only an illusion, something we create it cause we needed a purpose to live, to thrive and to make sense of

this

Linking Words

hardship we are facing. I believe

happiness

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is not the light at the end of the tunnel, it is not the end of a race, it is only the feeling of being grateful for a small thing.

Also

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, I strongly believe that if you lose your inner child, you can be happy because true

happiness

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is not bound to anything or anyone. To conclude, every one of us deserves to be happy, whatever meaning or definition we give it, we should always search for it and find it in ourselves or in other factors.

Submitted by Loufa on Thu Jun 18 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

468 words

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Many people think that happiness relies upon the individual, while others think it is affected by other factors. discuss both views and give your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be closed down. Others however believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

you have bought some clothing onllne and are not s atisfied with your purchase. Write a letter to the company that you bought the clothing from. In your email -> give details of the purchase -> describe the problem -> explain why you need a replacement urgently

1-Museums and art galleries should focus on works that show the history and culture of their own country rather than works of other parts of the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, more and more people choose to do their shopping onlineinstead of going to physical stores. Why is this so? What are the disadvantages of this trend?