It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role.

One of the most challenging
problem
Suggestion
problems
of today’s society is to understand the factors that affect
child
’s development.
Its
Suggestion
It's
not only the media, pop culture or
friends but
Accept comma addition
friends, but
family
also
plays
very important
Suggestion
a very important role
role
. Both the
aspect
Suggestion
aspects
has
Suggestion
have
there
of them or themselves
their
important
role
overall development of
child
Suggestion
the child
children
a child
.
This
essay will discuss both the point of
views but
Accept comma addition
views, but
argue in favour of
family
Suggestion
the family
plays the most significant
role
.
Firstly
,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
consider media, culture and
friends
Suggestion
friends'
friend's
role
in
child
development. The positive side of
this
is
child
Suggestion
the child
a child
able
learn
Suggestion
learns
is learning
has learned
new technology, different languages and many more things. They
also
easy
Suggestion
easily
get influenced and encouraged from their peers. But on the other side
child
at
young age
Suggestion
a young age
is very
malleable so
Accept comma addition
malleable, so
easy attracted towards
bad side
Suggestion
the bad side
of media and all. The
childs
a young person of either sex
children
child
can
also
demand for the expensive dresses, lifestyle or toys which they use to observe in tv or with their rich friends.
On the other hand
,
Child
at
young age
Suggestion
a young age
are very flexible and parents are very well known how to mould their
child
to get best out of them and most of all parents are always present with them at
this
stage of life.
Also
, children
at
Suggestion
in
young age use to imitate
alot
Suggestion
a lot
. So,
for example
, a
children
Suggestion
child
who
come
Suggestion
comes
from
dysfunctional family
Suggestion
a dysfunctional family
dysfunctional families
often exhibit
Suggestion
often exhibits
behaviour problem at school. An emotionally secure environment of
child
Suggestion
children
the child
at home plays
critical
Suggestion
a critical role
role
in developing confidence.
Moreover
, parents
also
help children
to
Suggestion
by
setting their boundaries. In my opinion, the choice of book, serial, games and friends is pure depend upon the education, moral values installed by the parents in their
child
.
Therefore
, parents hold more substantial sway over their offspring as compare to media, culture and friends.
Submitted by Geetika Gambhir on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • development
  • media
  • pop culture
  • peers
  • family
  • social skills
  • beliefs
  • values
  • emotional support
  • moral guidance
  • aspirations
  • self-image
  • social development
  • value system
  • harmony
  • conflict
  • significant
  • behaviors
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