IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Governments around the world spendToo much money on treating illness And diseases And not Enough on health education and prevention.Do agree or disagree

#governments #world #spendtoo #money #illness #diseases #health #education #prevention
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Many have observed that governments in the different parts of the world have used public fund chiefly for treating diseases rather than giving awareness or intercepting the illnesses spreading to the society. I agree to
this
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 statement in certain degree due to the fact that authorities in many countries prioritise
health
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care
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 education is one of the main agenda to build a healthy living society which should eventually reflect the progress of a nation.
Use synonyms
Health
Suggestion
The health
 of the citizens of a nation should be the fundamental factor of a thriving society
.
Accept space
.
Therefore
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,
Accept space
,
many countries have quintessential
health
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care
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 systems which enable their citizen to utilise the maximum benefit out of it irrespective of the financial conditions of them.
For instance
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, countries
such
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 as the United Kingdom is the epitome of
health
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care
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 system which provides the free
health
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care
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 services not only to all their nationals, but
also
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 to the immigrants,
as a result
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this
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 would be one of the influencing factors many choose to immigrate to
this
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 country.
Thus
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, the Human Resource of a country would bring accelerated the productivity of a nation. .Fundamentally
,
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,
many governments have contributed to a major portion of the annual budget to the research and development in the field of science and technology, which facilitate the cutting edge innovations in the field of medicines and equipments. Many anecdotes and longitudinal studies prove that effective healthcare system would undoubtedly halt or remove the deadly diseases.
Therefore
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 the many vaccines and medicines have cured and wiped out maladies
such
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 as plague, cholera and Ebola
Moreover
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,
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,
 the proactive measures and awareness campaigns of authorities could minimise the severity of the spreading the illness
.
Accept space
.
To illustrate
this
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,
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,
In India government has taken effective measures and prompt actions have helped to prevent the recent pandemic Covid 19
hence
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 many fatalities have avoided in a large scale compared to the other countries. In conclusion,many argue that governments consume the money when
health
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 or medical contingency occurred
however
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 in my opinion all over the world government establishments spend large amount of money in the field of
health
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care
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 education and awareness as a priority owing to the fact that
health
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 of their citizen would be the back bone of stable and development of an economy .
Submitted by anjanasona20 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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