IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

People should plan for their retirement by saving money. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #plan #retirement #money
Every year, a plethora of breadwinners are retired from their jobs, In which bunch
on
Suggestion
of
 individuals save good amount of monetary funds for a secure future. In
this
 essay, we will discuss the benefits of saving money for retirement. When people retire, they left with limited resources of income, mostly they depend upon the Government or their children. In that case, if individual have saved with them, they do not have to worry about their future.
For example
, in any uncertain medical emergency, he or she always can use to save for situation. They can
also
 use the amount for travelling new places and enjoy the rest of their lives peacefully. In some Western countries, the Government takes full responsibility of their senior citizen
,
Accept space
,
including their stay
,
Accept space
,
power medical emergency etc. In
such
 countries, people save less, because they already have secured by the Government.
Also
, in a country like India elders expect from their children, for supporting them in old age,
on the other hand
 kids
also
 want their parents
t
in the direction of
to
 be with them, so that, they can support by taking care of grandchildren. In my opinion, planning for retirement by saving money is necessary. It makes life comfortable and peaceful. Even if the person who receives, pension from government sector monthly, should save some amount of money.
Submitted by varun arora on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • peace of mind
  • comfortable living standard
  • compound interest
  • unexpected expenses
  • financial stress
  • well-funded retirement
  • government pensions
  • retirement benefits
  • cost of living
  • economic uncertainties
  • financial discipline
What to do next:
Look at other essays: