People should plan for their retirement by saving money. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Every year, a plethora of breadwinners are retired from their jobs. Few factions of the society opine to the notion that individuals must save

good

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a good

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amount of monetary funds for a secure future. I strongly espouse

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apply

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this

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idea and

hence

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this

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essay will discuss why it is significant for people to save income before the retirement period. First and foremost, after retiring, the employees or workers are left with limited resources of income; mostly, they are dependent on the Government or their children. In that case, if the individuals have savings with them, they do not have to be concerned about the

long lasting

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future.

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, in any uncertain medical emergency,

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retired individuals can use their savings.

Additionally

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, they can use the amount

for visiting

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to visit

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new places and enjoy the rest of their lives peacefully. In some Western nations, the Government takes full responsibility

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for

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their senior citizens, including

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accommodation, power, medical amenities and so on. In

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countries, people save less because they already have security provided to them by the local bureaucrats.

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, in a country like India, the elders have certain expectations from their children

for supporting

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to support

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them in their twilight age.

On the other hand

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, the children

also

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want their parents to support them by taking care of their grandchildren. In my opinion, early planning for

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retirement by saving money is necessary. It makes life comfortable and peaceful. Even if the person who receives a pension from the government sector monthly, should save some amount of money.

Submitted by varun arora on Fri Jun 19 2020

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task response

The response addresses the task question effectively and presents a clear argument supporting the importance of saving for retirement.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion. The ideas are presented in a logical order, making the essay easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
peace of mind
comfortable living standard
compound interest
unexpected expenses
financial stress
well-funded retirement
government pensions
retirement benefits
cost of living
economic uncertainties
financial discipline

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