IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Topic 1: Some countries argue that it is necessary to strengthen patrol guards to drive off illegal migrants who want to enter their territories. Some experts, however believe that such action can violate humanitarian rigths. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Immigration has been taking place in human life for a long time; but it is becoming more common nowadays. The reason for
this
Linking Words
 is overall contemporary progress in the field of travel and technology.
In addition
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, the population of certain states and regions is nowadays expanding due to the immigrants, who come to new places looking for better life due to the difference between poor and rich countries that growing at present. Unauthorized immigrants considered to bring a lot of losses. The United States is one of the
state
Use synonyms
who
Suggestion
Who
 argue that undocumented immigrants should be stopped as it's bad for the community and build a wall to stop the immigrants. Illegal aliens can bring damage the economy by taking jobs from the locals and do not pay taxes. In
additionally
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, unauthorized migrant who comes from the city nears the boundary are riddled with crime and drugs.
Thus
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, the arrival of illegal immigrants is considered to bring more harm than benefits to the
state
Use synonyms
 or local citizens. Strengthen the line unit in order to stop the immigrants can be contemplated to violate the human rights. To secure the country from unauthorized asylum seekers, the patrol guards forces returned the migrant into another rustic with no specific reception arrangements were made and no agreement was in place guaranteeing the protection of the intercepted refugees from
refoulement
Suggestion
. In
further
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, Public health research has documented widening racial and ethnic disparities within the militarized boundary zone
as a result
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 of punitive and discriminatory immigration enforcement practices. Border officers frequently misunderstand or even ignore the scope of their legal authority when carrying out border enforcement operations, constituting abuses of human rights and causing harm to safety. In my point of view, it is an obligation to the
Use synonyms
state to
Accept comma addition
state, to
 enhance the patrol guards to drive off illegal immigrants are important to reduce the criminals that might be happen to maintain the security and welfare of the citizen itself. For those illegal asylum seekers who crossed the region because of the chaos and violence or chaos in their country better be recorded so the government can monitor them.
However
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, protocols can be ruled out since it can affect the human rights of the unlawful settler. Other than that, Congress and the courts should clarify the laws about immigration making them simple so that all parties involved realize what the
state
Use synonyms
 expected of them before entering.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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