Some people say that parents should place restrictions on the hours of their children spend watching TV and playing computer games, and encourage them to spend this time reading books instead. Do you agree or disagree?

There is a view that the hours spent on a big screen or playing computer

games

Use synonyms

must be controlled;

instead

Linking Words

, parents should motivate them to read

books

Use synonyms

more.

While

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

oppose

this

Linking Words

notion, I partially agree with

this

Linking Words

idea as youngsters acquire knowledge well on digital items. In the modernised century, parents should restrict the active hours on social media of their

children

Use synonyms

as kids are too young to deal with the misunderstood or bullies in the digital age, they may be confused.

In addition

Linking Words

, they

also

Linking Words

suffer from health risks related to their eyes.

However

Linking Words

, too much time spent in front of a computer or screen can be dangerous to their mental and physical health at the same time.

Instead

Linking Words

of utilising digital items,

books

Use synonyms

can be an option since

children

Use synonyms

are provided with more knowledge in that way and stay more focused.

Therefore

Linking Words

, parents must work on the behaviour and activities of their

children

Use synonyms

Conversely

Linking Words

, the current century really requires being aware of computers and screens at every stage of life. Kids

also

Linking Words

tend to play online

games

Use synonyms

from a young age.

Moreover

Linking Words

, kids can improve their typing and communication

skills

Use synonyms

when they play on a laptop. Admittedly, now, more and more

people

Use synonyms

can learn things quickly in the electronic version of

books

Use synonyms

, especially by listening to them.

Besides

Linking Words

that, there are special programs and channels on TV which are specialised for educating

children

Use synonyms

to learn new

skills

Use synonyms

, ranging from language

skills

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as spelling, listening and speaking to communication abilities. When

children

Use synonyms

gather with online friends on computer

games

Use synonyms

, it really encourages them to socialise more with

people

Use synonyms

all over the world. They

also

Linking Words

provided information about other cultures and living conditions. Gadgets

also

Linking Words

offer the latest news on social media.

Thus

Linking Words

, being aware of how to use online platforms helps

people

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develop their

skills

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. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

TV and online

games

Use synonyms

can be harmful in some situations and be an obstacle to being focused on reading

books

Use synonyms

, there are other benefits which outweigh the drawbacks .

makemoneyizzy16

Aug 6, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your arguments support your main point. Try to link your ideas more clearly.

task achievement

Include more examples that directly support your ideas, and ensure every point is fully explained.

task achievement

You clearly stated your opinion and provided points for both sides of the argument.

coherence and cohesion

You used a variety of sentence structures, which is good for keeping the reader engaged.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

341 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cognitive development
Screen time
Attention span
Academic performance
Physical exercise
Childhood obesity
Language skills
Creativity
Imagination
Empathy
Educational programs
Personal growth
Balanced approach
Interactive games
Media consumption
Self-regulation
Distractions
Technology-enhanced learning

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Some people say that parents should place restrictions on the hours of their children spend watching TV and playing computer games, and encourage them to spend this time reading books instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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