PEOPLE ARE BECOMING MORE AND MORE OBESE. What are the reasons of this problem and how can this be solved?

Nowadays, it has become a common trend for us to see too many overweight people.
This
essay is aimed at highlighting some root causes of
this
trend as well as suggesting two feasible solutions to decrease obesity.
Firstly
, excessive consumption of fatty products has resulted in people gaining extra kilograms. An easy access to fast food chains and limits in
spare time of
Suggestion
the spare time, of
the spare time of
people have compelled individuals to end up
in eating unhealthy
Suggestion
eating unhealthy
meals with decent cholesterol. The appealing decorations of the very branches with appetising pictures of burgers attract people to visit
such
places frequently.
Moreover
, inactive lifestyles of people are to blame for obesity as well.
In other words
,
sedentary style
Suggestion
the sedentary style
of life brings about hard digestion of
consumed
Suggestion
consuming
meals in
stomach
Suggestion
the stomach
. As an outcome, the undigested nutrition turns into fat, which makes people obese greatly. One solution to the issue can be social endorsements propagating fitness and healthy eating. Evidently, celebrities have
social power
Suggestion
the social power
to affect the society. Watching their idols doing sports, overweight people may commence attending
gym
Suggestion
the gym
a gym
and having a well-balanced diet. Another way out can be an increase in the price of unhealthy food. I believe, far fewer people would consume greasy products on the condition that they cost too expensive. The effects of these suggested measures seem to eliminate obesity. By way of conclusion, the causes leading to extra gain of weight
such
as consuming unhealthy food and inactivity of the public are vivid,
therefore
governments ought to take prompt
actions
Suggestion
action
to improve general fitness of people.
Submitted by Shohjahon Abdulhamidov on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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