PEOPLE ARE BECOMING MORE AND MORE OBESE. What are the reasons of this problem and how can this be solved?

#people #be

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Nowadays, it has become a common trend for us to see too many overweight people.

This

Linking Words

essay is aimed at highlighting some root causes of

this

Linking Words

trend as well as suggesting two feasible solutions to decrease obesity.

Firstly

Linking Words

, excessive consumption of fatty products has resulted in people gaining extra kilograms. An easy access to fast food chains and limits in

spare time of

Suggestion

the spare time, of

the spare time of

people have compelled individuals to end up

in eating unhealthy

Suggestion

eating unhealthy

meals with decent cholesterol. The appealing decorations of the very branches with appetising pictures of burgers attract people to visit

such

Linking Words

places frequently.

Moreover

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, inactive lifestyles of people are to blame for obesity as well.

In other words

Linking Words

sedentary style

Suggestion

the sedentary style

of life brings about hard digestion of

consumed

Suggestion

consuming

meals in

stomach

Suggestion

the stomach

. As an outcome, the undigested nutrition turns into fat, which makes people obese greatly. One solution to the issue can be social endorsements propagating fitness and healthy eating. Evidently, celebrities have

social power

Suggestion

the social power

to affect the society. Watching their idols doing sports, overweight people may commence attending

gym

Suggestion

the gym

a gym

and having a well-balanced diet. Another way out can be an increase in the price of unhealthy food. I believe, far fewer people would consume greasy products on the condition that they cost too expensive. The effects of these suggested measures seem to eliminate obesity. By way of conclusion, the causes leading to extra gain of weight

such

Linking Words

as consuming unhealthy food and inactivity of the public are vivid,

therefore

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governments ought to take prompt

actions

Suggestion

action

to improve general fitness of people.

Submitted by Shohjahon Abdulhamidov on Sat Jun 20 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

254 words

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PEOPLE ARE BECOMING MORE AND MORE OBESE. What are the reasons of this problem and how can this be solved?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Space travel has been possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

**Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?**

Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in society today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

Rising university fees and scarce employment prospects for graduates have led some people to say that universities should not teach arts subjects, like philosophy and history, and only offer practical degree courses that maximise chances of employment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?