IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are complete waste of time . Do you agree or disagree ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Certain people have the perception which argues that children’s playtime should involve to gain some knowledge rather than just passing time.As per my experience and knowledge I conclusively disagree
this
Linking Words
 statement due to the fact that play time should be enjoyable to the children rather than a torture. Fundamentally
,
Accept space
,
children’s play activities have the major significance in their brain development.Chiefly, many studies prove that it should not necessarily that all activities must something to learn owing to the fact that children physical movement is a primary concern in the early stage of a child’s
life
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
 eventually they learn and observe while they play notwithstanding any forceful learning practices.
For example
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
a toddler could identify the colours of their toys rather than parents pressure them to seek it how it is spoken in different languages other than their mother tongue.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
playing with their acquaintances could grow the virtues
such
Linking Words
 as compassion, friendship, care and love which they cannot learn it from the books. It is observed that the new modern nuclear family and schooling system want to make their children to be an Einstein.
As a result
Linking Words
, children, even at the age of four or five they loose the innocents and many experiencing isolated childhood
,
Accept space
,
therefore
Linking Words
 many have physiological issue later in their
life
Use synonyms
 as an adult.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
nowadays children have More indoor activities and hobbies
such
Linking Words
 as video games and using mobile phones excessively
,
Accept space
,
this
Linking Words
 resulted them to take away from the close contact with nature which many studies proven that immune system badly affect the new generations due to the same.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 new generation children will easily get cold or cough when the time of monsoon compared to the previous generation In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
although
Linking Words
 certain people have the opinion that children leisure activities should include the some form of educational value, it is proven that playing without any burden of study has more fruitful impact on the child's
life
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, since children are the future of
life
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
we should build a compassionate society rather than make children as a robot which doesn’t have any human values or nature.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: