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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some commentators feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandchildren, while others say that elderly people should be encouraged to live independently. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion.

#commentators #grandparents #children #grandchildren #people #arguments #debate #conclusion
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Many critics support that the elder
generation
Use synonyms
 should live with the younger
generation
Use synonyms
 rather than live alone even if it might enhance independence. I believe that the elderly, whether they live together with families, should depend on different cultural customs and lifestyles. On the one hand, in Asia, the scores of elderly people live with their grandchildren, because parents rely on children, even if they are adults. Due to the fact that they are used to living
together even
Accept comma addition
together, even
 with married children, they would not move out.
However
Linking Words
, these family-style have many advantages, when parents are both-income
employees especially,
Suggestion
employees, especially
 the elderly could look after grandchildren or pick-up grandchildren from a nursery.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in a large family, grandparents could not feel lonely or upset, because they could talk to families frequently.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others tend to encourage the elder
generation
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 to live separately. Indeed, in modern society, lots of elder
generation
Use synonyms
choose
Suggestion
chooses
 to live alone and they still have
positive social network
Suggestion
a positive social network
.
For instance
Linking Words
, elderlies are able to participate in volunteer activities or they have their own elderly service course (growing plants, dancing, or
traveling
the act of going from one place to another
travelling
). Those activities enhance elderly physical and emotional health to avoid suffering from a disease as well as it is good for the elderly to keep optimizing. Many elderly have a pension so that they are not concerned about expenditures.
In addition
Linking Words
, the elder
generation
Use synonyms
 could improve their self-esteem, because they know whenever they need help or get an illness, the family is still at their back to support them. In conclusion, the most important is that the elderly should obtain their autonomy and independence, whether the elderly live with families or not. I believe that the elderly have independent space
that is
Linking Words
 better than those without.
Submitted by Sasha on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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