It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people are of the opinion that individuals are born with talents
such
as sports and music. Linking Words
While
some others think that through training, those without those skills can Linking Words
also
learn and gain mastery of the skills. Linking Words
This
essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in favour of the latter.
On the one hand, it is obviously believed that certain individuals who are born with specific talents give them a natural advantage in areas Linking Words
such
as sports and music. Linking Words
This
can be seen in a child who can learn how to do something without any hassle Linking Words
in addition
to the time needed to perfect the skill is very short compared to normal children. An example of a naturally born footballer is Lionel Messi who often gets the achievements compared to other players even though he trains less than Christiano Ronaldo who trains the most frequently. Individuals who have a superior talentLinking Words
,
will gain success at ease at a very young age.
Remove the comma
apply
On the other hand
, there are those who argue that anyone can be taught to excel at sports or music through disciplined practice and proper training. They point to the fact that many successful athletes and musicians started with little or no natural talent but bent over backwards to hone their skills. Linking Words
For example
, Michael Jordan practised and trained every single day in order that he could be accepted as the core team of the Chicago Bulls, after going through blood, sweat, and tears, he managed to become part of the team.
In conclusion, Linking Words
while
some people may indeed be born with certain talents, from my perspective, I believe that anyone can be taught to succeed with the right approach and hard work. Those without a particular skill should not be discouraged as perseverance is Linking Words
also
a prominent important factor for long-term achievement.Linking Words
Submitted by riani.the2 on
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task achievement
Your essay does a great job of presenting both viewpoints and providing specific examples to support them. However, to make your argument stronger, you could provide one more specific example or elaboration in favor of the viewpoint you support.
task achievement
While your ideas are clear and well-expressed, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases. For example, "bent over backwards" could simply be "worked very hard." Polishing your language will enhance the clarity of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is solid, but using transitional phrases more effectively could improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas. For instance, using phrases like 'Additionally,' or 'Conversely,' can make your arguments more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines the two viewpoints and states your opinion, providing a clear roadmap for the essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong conclusion that reinforces your opinion and wraps up the essay effectively.
task achievement
The examples you provided were specific and relevant, making your points more persuasive. For instance, referencing Lionel Messi and Michael Jordan adds credibility to your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?