Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Childhood obesity is becoming a problem throughout the developed world.Because of this, some people think that adverts for fast food, sweets and sugary snacks should not be allowed in schools and colleges. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

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Introduction

It is hard to deny the fact that obesity has been dramatically increasing over the years among the children. Owing to

this

Linking Words

, it is believed by many people that fast meal ads should be banned from the schools and colleges. As far as I concerned, school and college are meant for education so adverts of healthy meal should be introduced.

Body · 1

There is no doubt that fast food items, sweets and sugary snacks are one of the major reasons due to which adolescents have obesity. On the top of

this

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, introducing advertisement on

such

Linking Words

items in institutes is really a big issue to be taken care of immediately.

For instance

Linking Words

, companies take the biggest advantage of the institutes to target youth in a large capacity, as it might hard for youngsters to avoid junk foodstuff when big posters are available in front of them.

In addition

Linking Words

, companies encourage the children to eat them in large groups as they always ready to give discount on order of large quantity.

Moreover

Linking Words

, many Colleges make money from these adverts by charging the companies a minimum fee.

Body · 2

Although

Linking Words

removing the food adds from the institute is very hard, it can be replaced by green vegetable adverts.

However

Linking Words

, it is very difficult to stop students from eating junk items, but they can be guided to eat green items. Having a cafeteria with healthy meal will result in some change among the students.

For example

Linking Words

, setting up healthy workshops for the students and by the students will

also

Linking Words

promote a healthy lifestyle. Listing of drawbacks on obesity and

then

Linking Words

sticking them to the walls of the schools will

also

Linking Words

create awareness.

Conclusion

In Conclusion, I think it would be fair to change the junk snack advertisements with the healthy stuff.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, institutes should blacklist the companies with sweets and sugary snacks.

Life & Career

Jun 22, 2020

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
vulnerability
unethical
well-being
commercial gain
cafeteria options
nutritional programs
fast food advertisements
health impacts
influence
educational environment
promote healthier eating habits

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