some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenager spend a short time working as well as studying acamedemic subjects. To what extent do you agree

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Most people assume the teens from the school period should begin to devote time to

work

Use synonyms

and,

also

Linking Words

find time to study academic subjects and that schools should arrange for them it. I support

this

Linking Words

statement to a large extend for some reasons. My position is argued

further

Linking Words

with

explanation

Suggestion

the explanation

. Out of all reasons, the foremost one is pupil experience. Many parents believe that if their child will focus on

study

Suggestion

the study

, he goes to a prestigious university. But, there is no benefit in being exclusively qualified if a teenager does not have social skills

such

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as time management, communication skills, teamwork and adaptation to a new environment. To add to

this

Linking Words

they

can quickly assimilates

Suggestion

can quickly assimilate

work

Use synonyms

skills even leadership and organizational skill.

Additionally

Linking Words

, students can make the right decisions in their plans and careers for the future.

For example

Linking Words

, one of my friends in high school decided to become a doctor because of volunteer works in

hospital

Suggestion

a hospital

the hospital

. Now she enter the university and prepare to build a successful career.

However

Linking Words

, I would not overlook the other side too.

To begin

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with,

work

Use synonyms

will tire.

For instance

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, man works as a waiter part-time. Study during the day,

work

Use synonyms

at night. As the

result of, he

Suggestion

result, he

will exhaust morally and physically.

Moreover

Linking Words

, sometimes It can still affect the performance of a teen. After that, either he quits school or

work

Use synonyms

. To sum up, practical knowledge helps students acquire certain skills through a life reality

that is

Linking Words

much closer to their

work

Use synonyms

, but

this

Linking Words

does not mean that academic knowledge is not necessary for them. I think schools, as well as students, must set up an appropriate timetable.

EsbolatMon Jun 22 2020

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

practical work experience
academic subjects
enhance
develop
life skills
exposure
informed
career choices
time management skills
responsibilities

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some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenager spend a short time working as well as studying acamedemic subjects. To what extent do you agree

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties having enough sleep what are problems caused by lack of sleep? what can be done about this lack of sleep?

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

Many working people get little or no exercise during the workday, have health problems as result. why do so many people not get enough exercise, what can do about this problem?