Because of the negative effects on health of an inactive lifestyle, all university students and school children should be forced to do sports activities at least 3 times per week. Do you agree or disagree?

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People today, lead sedentary lives,
due to
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their addiction to technology and long work hours, which has adverse health effects.
This
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has
lead
Wrong verb form
led
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to the thought that
,
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apply
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students should be made to participate in outdoor
activities
Use synonyms
at least thrice a week, by educational institutions. I am in
the
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apply
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favour of
this
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idea, as physical exercise is important for the physical
as well as
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mental
well being
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well-being
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of the pupils.
This
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essay will augment my opinion.
Firstly
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, most of the children and collegians, engage themselves in passive
activities
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such
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as watching
Tv
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TV
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or playing video games during their spare time, which has
lead
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led
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to the rise of obesity and related disorders.
Hence
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, mandatory participation in games and other exercises at schools and colleges
,
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can provide their bodies, with
appropriate
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the appropriate
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fitness regime needed to maintain
healthy
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a healthy
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body weight and a strong immune system.
Additionally
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, numerous studies have shown that a person who trains thrice a week is less likely to develop any underlying conditions
such
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as diabetes or blood pressure, and different sports provide various benefits to the human body. To cite an example, football increases blood circulation,
while
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cricket and badminton reduce the risk of developing cardiovascular diseases. So, it can be said that forcing the young ones to partake in healthful
activities
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, is indeed essential.
Secondly
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, students today, are overly pressurised by the academic burden and
therefore
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suffer from several mental illnesses like anxiety and depression. So, compelling them to perform athletic tasks, can give them a break from their studies and provide a way to channel the negative thoughts out. To illustrate
this
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,
a
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recent research has concluded that, engaging in outdoor games and events, can help their minds relax and rejuvenate, which in turn can improve their study performance,
thus
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decreasing the probability of suffering from
stress induced
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stress-induced
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disorders.
To conclude
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, wellness, sports and
activities
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are prominent to maintain a good body. In my opinion,
the
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apply
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sporting sessions should be mandated around the world, in order to keep tomorrow's adults fit and to assist them in picking up a healthy lifestyle.
Submitted by vishwashah6116 on

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task response
Ensure that your ideas and arguments directly address the essay prompt. Make sure your points are relevant to the topic and support your stance clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with well-connected ideas throughout. To further enhance coherence, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively.
lexical resource
Your vocabulary is varied and mostly appropriate for the task. To further improve, consider using more specific and sophisticated vocabulary related to the topic of physical activity, health, and well-being.
grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate, but there are a few instances of awkward or unclear phrasing. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, sentence structure, and the use of articles to enhance clarity and fluency.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Mandatory
  • Physical activity
  • Mental well-being
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Peer interaction
  • Motivation
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Health curriculum
  • Fitness culture
  • Academic performance
  • Compulsory participation
  • Incentivizing
  • Physical education
  • Overall well-being
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