Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss bot views and give your opinion.
Throughout
modern
era, Add an article
the modern
the
Correct article usage
apply
crime
is
considerably prevalent in the world. It is Wrong verb form
has been
very
long history of convention Add an article
a very
when
Correct word choice
that when
the
Correct article usage
a
crime
is occurred
, the criminal lost their freedom. Change to the active voice
occurs
has occurred
However
there is various controversy Add a comma
However,
of
Change preposition
over
this
automatic sentence
that criminal receives. There are tremendous way
of how the criminal could be punished Fix the agreement mistake
ways
instead
of receiving sentence
. It is highly agreeable that the criminal must be penalized corresponding Add an article
a sentence
their
Change preposition
to their
offense
. The current law provides mostly Change the spelling
offence
sentence
which direct to the jail unless offender
commit Correct article usage
the offender
serious
felony. There are tremendous Add an article
a serious
crime
that they got punished Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
however
the result of punishment
is very uniform. Only
difference is the period that Add an article
The only
offender
Correct article usage
the offender
stay
in Correct subject-verb agreement
stays
the
jail. The noticeable problem is that the weight of Correct article usage
apply
criminal
is not measurable. Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
For example
, the economic criminal and murder is
not comparable Change the verb form
are
however
sometimes the sentence
of murder and economic criminal receive similar
Add an article
a similar
sentence
. In order to offer fair
Correct article usage
a fair
sentence
, the corresponding result such
as same
amount of Change the article
the same
penalty
to economic
Add an article
the economic
offender
and death
Correct article usage
the death
penalty
to killer
is supposed to be unbiased Meanwhile there is Add an article
the killer
a killer
other
argument that imprisoning is not effective. When it comes to Change the wording
another
offender
we Fix the agreement mistake
offenders
are easily consider
that they are fairly useless to be Change the verb form
easily consider
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
member
of society. The purpose of Fix the agreement mistake
members
imprisoning
is basically to reform Replace the word
imprisonment
criminal
which Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
do
not Change the verb form
does
weight
on Correct your spelling
weigh
punishment
. This
conventional method is
evaluated Unnecessary verb
apply
from
some people that the Change preposition
by
victim
or family of victim
is not considered Especially in South Korea where the Add an article
the victim
sentence
is fairly light than Change preposition
in other
other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
this
criminal considered punishment
is way too biased. For
example
when it comes to the case of murder, the Add a comma
example,
victim
of this
crime
case could not return any of their ordinary life. Meanwhile, the criminal only spend
Change the verb form
spends
decade
in Add an article
a decade
the
jail and eventually Correct article usage
apply
return
to Correct subject-verb agreement
returns
back
their ordinary life. Which directly Verb problem
apply
imply
that there is Correct subject-verb agreement
implies
any
Correct determiner usage
no
penalty
or compensation to victim
. To wrap up, Add an article
the victim
for
Change preposition
from
Correct article usage
the victim
victim
perspective the execution of Change noun form
victim's
sentence
is fairly biased Correct article usage
the sentence
to
Change preposition
toward
criminal
and Correct article usage
the criminal
this
punishment
is not various
or specific which is not correctly Replace the word
varied
aiming
Wrong verb form
aim
to
Change preposition
for
proper
corresponding Correct article usage
a proper
penalty
. As the above statement mentioned, the conventional punishment
is required to change to victim based
legislation rather than Add a hyphen
victim-based
offender
-centered executionSubmitted by Choi Sugyeong on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite