A local school is requesting ideas for renovations. Write to them and include Problems they have now Suggestions to change How they could make these changes

#school #renovations #suggestions #change #changes

Dear Sir,

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areWe

wereWe

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so glad to know that the institute is going through renovation. Earlier,

also

I wanted to raise certain concerns regarding institutional infrastructure, from the kid's perspective

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apply

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but did not get a chance. But

finally

, the management has decided to take

this

initiative and I am so thrilled to put forward my suggestions. There are certain problems which as following.

Firstly

, the location of the academy is not good. The road on which the academy is located is not safe and there are so many holes. So many accidents have taken place in the past.

Secondly

, there are very limited

books

in the library, due

which

Change preposition

to which

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maximum

students

lack study material relevant to their subjects.

For example

, sometimes certain topics are explained better by other authors rather than the recommended in the syllabus.

Thirdly

sports

ground is not up to the mark because of which children indulge

less

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fewer

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sports

activities.

Sports

is quite significant to a certain extent, in

student's

Fix the agreement mistake

students'

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overall development. Fourthly, they aren't any seating arrangement in the cafeteria, Mostly, either they have to eat while standing or need to sit ground, which is quite inconvenient. But these things issues can be resolved by

the

Correct article usage

apply

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renovations.

First

and

for most

Correct your spelling

foremost

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

repairing the roads and by adding required speed brakes, can easily reduce accidents.

Secondly

, the institution needs to increase

books

in the library, so that children don't fall short of

books

during their exams. Different author

books

should be available

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apply

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so that

students

can understand difficult concepts in depth.

Thirdly

sports

ground and playground need to be separate. More swings and

well structured

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well-structured

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basketball, tennis and badminton courts are required. Children cannot compete in interschool competitions, since they lack

right

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the right

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environment and practice. Fourthly,

students

need

proper

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a proper

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seating arrangement in the cafeteria, so that they can comfortably finish their lunch. Either they spill food or don't eat food, they could hamper their health. The above suggestions can be implemented through external help. A petition mentioning all the issues related to roads,

further

signed by all the guardians needs to be submitted to the city Mayor.

This

will definitely have a very strong impact and they will definitely take some serious action. In

case

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the case

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library

Add an article

the library

a library

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, the school administration needs to get in touch with local bookstores. We know that every institution has a budget constraint and buying new

books

can be very expensive.

Instead

of new, you can purchase

second hand

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second-hand

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books

from these local book stores, since study material is important.

This

will be

very

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a very

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cost effective

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cost-effective

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approach and at

same

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the same

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fulfil the requirement.

Sports

is essential, since its related

physical

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to physical

show examples

growth. For constructing basketball, tennis and badminton court you will need extra manpower. So keeping

mind

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in mind

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the budget and space, we as parents can help after school for 2 to 3 hours on a daily basis.

Last

but

Correct your spelling

not

show examples

Correct your spelling

not

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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least, since the cafeteria is not very spacious so

students

need to outside. Management can provide them with extra wooden benches. During lunch hour they can take them from the academy storage room and return them after the break. I hope you will consider my rational ideas

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apply

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since institute good infrastructure affects student's mental and physical health. And we cannot compromise with their overall personality development, due to lack

necessary

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of necessary

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resources. Yours faithfully, Shreya

Submitted by shreya1990s on Tue Jun 23 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

551 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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A local school is requesting ideas for renovations. Write to them and include Problems they have now Suggestions to change How they could make these changes

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In recent years, many local shop owners have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

Some people view teenage conflict with their parents as a necessary part of growing up, whilst others see it as something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In many countries women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first mothh after the birth of their baby Do advantage outweigh disadvantage ?