Some people suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this

#people #job #years #school #university

Most companies and government departments around the world require

experience

before hiring people.

Therefore

experience

has become something basic for everyone. But is it necessary to work and take

experience

immediately after

school

? Personally, I believe that having

job

after

school

is considered as a double-edged weapon. So, in

this

essay both the positive and negative edges are going to be discussed. One of the main benefits having

job

Suggestion

a job

after

school

is get

Suggestion

gets

experience

taking japan as an example, where most of

students

Suggestion

the students

there enroll

Accept comma addition

there, enrol

there enrol

for a

job

while they still in senior high

school

and continue until they leave the

school

and get

Suggestion

into

a university.

As a result

, Japan is distinguished by productive people around the world.

In addition

experience

is an important thing that distinguishes everyone in a

job

and it is considered an important qualification for every

job

However

, the people who chose to work after

school

faced many difficulties later when they decided to complete their studies at university.

First

, staying in the profession for several years reinforces the desire to continue working

instead

of studying and

this

is not considered a positive thing. As young people still need to obtain more qualifications to obtain more and better opportunities.

For example

promotion

Suggestion

a promotion

to a

job

is not based on

experience

only, it depends

Suggestion

, it only depends

, it depends only

on university degrees for the employee.

As a result

, people will take longer time because of

difficulties

Suggestion

the difficulties

in studying late. To sum up, I realize that human should

distinguishes

Suggestion

distinguish

between the good and

bead

that which is below standard or expectations as of ethics or decency

bad

aspects of anything in life. In my opinion, the advantages of having

job

Suggestion

a job

after

school

outweigh the negatives.

Submitted by Reem on Tue Jun 23 2020

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Educating young people is naturally important. However, some think governments ought to invest more in education for adults in need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

everyone should be encouraged to use fewer resources rather than recycle more. To what extent do you agree?

Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Do you think that this is a positive or negative development?

Traffic and housing problems could be solved by moving large companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree?

IN SOME COUNTRIES MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE BECOMING INTERESTED IN FINDING OUT ABOUT THE HISTORY OF THE HOUSE OR BUILDING THEY LIVE IN. WHAT ARE THE REASONS FOR THIS? HOW CAN PEOPLE RESEARCH THIS?