IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The government should control the amount of violence in films and on TV in order to reduce the amount of violent crimes in the society. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #control #amount #violence #films #tv #crimes #society
The diagram illustrates the
value
 of country export activities in five
sector
Suggestion
sectors
 which are petroleum products, engineered goods, gems and jewellery, agricultural products and textile between 2015 and 2016, while the table shows the
change
 in percentages for each
sector
 in both years. Overall, each
sector
value
 experienced steady growth, except for the Gems and Jewellery
sector
, which experienced a downward trend in the following year.
First
 of all, Textile has considered as the
sector
 with the highest percentage
change
 which made up to15.48 %.
On the other hand
, agricultural product shows the lowest percentage
change
 in export
value
 by only 0.81 %. Meanwhile, as mentioned above, the other sectors have no significant
change
 in export earnings
value
 in one year. The earnings for the agricultural made up to 0.81% in 2016 and reached approximately 34
billion
 dollars while the petroleum product and engineered goods values were increased slightly by only about 3% (from 61
billion
 dollars to 63
billion
 dollars) and 8.5 % (from 57
billion
 dollars to 62
billion
 dollars).
However
, the gems and jewellery were the only
sector
 that decreased by the
value
 percentage for about 5.18 % in over one year.
Submitted by Nida Nafila on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Regulate
  • Desensitization
  • Censorship
  • Impressionable
  • Exposure
  • Violent behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Preventive measures
  • Artistic freedom
  • Vulnerable
  • Ethical concerns
  • Monitoring
  • Influence
  • Content control
  • Crime reduction
What to do next:
Look at other essays: