Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

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There are parents who spend a substantial amount of

money

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toys

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for their offspring. The main benefits of having a lot of

toys

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include advantageous brain

development

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and personal growth for toddlers, ensuring

them

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

Fix the infinitive

apply

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experience the best childhood.

However

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, the drawbacks are that

money

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will be wasted if

children

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do not play with the

toys

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, and having many

toys

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will make a house look messy. One primary advantage of buying many

toys

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is that it promotes

children

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’s growth and cognitive

development

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. Interactive

toys

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such

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as those teaching the alphabet or numbers, can be particularly beneficial.

However

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, parental involvement in the learning process is essential to maximise the benefits.

For example

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, a recent study indicates that learning to talk is easier for toddlers if their parents frequently engage with them.

Additionally

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children

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will have the chance to enjoy a wonderful childhood.

On the other hand

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, the disadvantage of purchasing numerous

toys

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is the potential waste of

money

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children

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refuse to play with them or destroy them. Toddlers often throw and break things, especially fragile

toys

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, as part of their

development

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Furthermore

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children

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will eventually grow older and lose interest in playing

childish

Change preposition

with childish

show examples

toys

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As a result

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, a large collection of

toys

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will clutter the house. Toy-filled disorganised homes leave a bad impression on guests and are uncomfortable to live in. In conclusion, buying a significant number of

toys

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offers meaningful benefits including supporting

children

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’s growth and

development

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, and allowing them to have a cherished childhood.

Nevertheless

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, the downsides include wasting

money

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on unused items and creating a messy living environment.

maisarahamirah16Sun Jul 14 2024

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Advice - Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay is well-structured, but it would benefit from more varied transitional phrases to enhance the flow between ideas.

Advice - Task Achievement

Aim to provide a more balanced perspective by including a counter-argument or addressing potential opposing views.

Positive Highlight - Coherence and Cohesion

You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, setting a solid foundation for your arguments.

Positive Highlight - Task Achievement

The use of specific examples like the recent study on learning to talk adds credibility and depth to your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

Your opinion

These days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home. Do advantages of working at home outweigh diadvantages?

Nowsday, a growing numboer of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Too much emphasis is placed on education. More government money should be spent on providing free-time activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that edcation should be the responsible of the government but others think that it is the responsibility of the individuals themsevles . Dicuss both views , express your opinion .

Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve.