Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?
There are parents who spend a substantial amount of
money
on toys
for their offspring. The main benefits of having a lot of toys
include advantageous brain development
and personal growth for toddlers, ensuring them
Correct pronoun usage
they
to
experience the best childhood. Fix the infinitive
apply
However
, the drawbacks are that money
will be wasted if children
do not play with the toys
, and having many toys
will make a house look messy.
One primary advantage of buying many toys
is that it promotes children
’s growth and cognitive development
. Interactive toys
, such
as those teaching the alphabet or numbers, can be particularly beneficial. However
, parental involvement in the learning process is essential to maximise the benefits. For example
, a recent study indicates that learning to talk is easier for toddlers if their parents frequently engage with them. Additionally
, children
will have the chance to enjoy a wonderful childhood.
On the other hand
, the disadvantage of purchasing numerous toys
is the potential waste of money
if children
refuse to play with them or destroy them. Toddlers often throw and break things, especially fragile toys
, as part of their development
. Furthermore
, children
will eventually grow older and lose interest in playing childish
Change preposition
with childish
toys
. As a result
, a large collection of toys
will clutter the house. Toy-filled disorganised homes leave a bad impression on guests and are uncomfortable to live in.
In conclusion, buying a significant number of toys
offers meaningful benefits including supporting children
’s growth and development
, and allowing them to have a cherished childhood. Nevertheless
, the downsides include wasting money
on unused items and creating a messy living environment.Submitted by maisarahamirah16 on
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Advice - Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, but it would benefit from more varied transitional phrases to enhance the flow between ideas.
Advice - Task Achievement
Aim to provide a more balanced perspective by including a counter-argument or addressing potential opposing views.
Positive Highlight - Coherence and Cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, setting a solid foundation for your arguments.
Positive Highlight - Task Achievement
The use of specific examples like the recent study on learning to talk adds credibility and depth to your essay.
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