When the new towns are planned, it is more important to develop public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#towns #parks #sports #facilities #centers #people #time

It has long been a controversy whether we need more parks and sports

centers

an area that is approximately central within some larger region

centres

or shopping malls in our cities. To me, I tend to vote for the former two facilities when considering their comprehensive benefits to the public health. Superficially, it is department stores the might be attractive to some people, especially the younger generation. To them, more shopping

centers

an area that is approximately central within some larger region

centres

centre

means

Suggestion

mean

increasing convenience, which not just provides a wider variety of

commodities but

Accept comma addition

commodities, but

also

saves

them much time in

Suggestion

them much time

searching for different products.

This

particular

Suggestion

particularly

important to those busy working adults in a fast-paced modern life. Apart from urban dwellers, shopping

centers

an area that is approximately central within some larger region

centres

are usually reckoned as a tourism attraction for

travelers

a person who changes location

travellers

, especially for those from developing countries. A convincing example is those super shopping malls in Paris and New York, which absorb millions of dollars to the local tourism every year.

However

, I would say that it is the parks and sports facilities the deserve more priority in

development

Suggestion

the development

of new towns. While shopping

centers

an area that is approximately central within some larger region

centres

are more like a paradise for youngsters, it is the public parks

that

Suggestion

are

suitable for people of all ages and various interests to spend leisure time, from jogging to fishing, camping to painting. It provides a precious opportunity for each individual living in concrete jungles to relieve themselves in nature, which is beneficial to their mental health.

Also

, more sports facilities will make it easy for people to do exercise, which in turn will increase the physical fitness of the public,

thus

simulating an active lifestyle for those who are collapsing in front of computers. To sum up, attractive though shopp

ing cen

an area that is approximately central within some larger region

centres

ters are, I would reiterate that it is public parks and athletic facilities

that is

conducive to the health of the masses

Submitted by Ngoc Le on Wed Jun 24 2020

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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When the new towns are planned, it is more important to develop public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those time than they are now. What problems will this cause ? What can be done to solve these problems ?

Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

To learn effecrively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school. How true is this statement? Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or an negative development?