Many people are now spending more and more time travelling to work or school, some people believe that this has negative development while others think there are some benefits. Discuss both view and give your opinion

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There exists a tendency
that
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for
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people
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in modern life are
taking
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take
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increasingly longer
time
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to work or school.
While
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some
people
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assert that
this
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trend is of rather an advantage, some believe that there
is
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are
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a lot more detrimental consequences.
These both
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Both
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sides of the statement will be discussed as follows before drawing my reasoned conclusion. In the first place, prolonged commuting
time
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could be favourable in some aspects.
Firstly
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, it might curb the
time
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people
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waste on doing
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such
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apply
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passive and useless things
such
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as surfing
the
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apply
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Facebook or reading unnecessary online articles.
This
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is the chief contributing factor leading to a sedentary lifestyle nowadays, especially among adolescents and working adults.
Secondly
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, with a longer
time
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spent on roads,
people
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could probably be familiar
and
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with and
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well-aware
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well aware
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of the traffic hazards that potentially happen on an average day.
This
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could surprisingly create personal habits that help individuals avoid accidents, stay safe and tackle dangerous situations when travelling on roads.
On the other hand
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, I concur with the idea that
this
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newly
existed
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existing
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trend could be seen as several adverse outcomes. In terms of working productivity,
people
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could be less productive
due to
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the anger and tiredness they get from being stuck in a traffic jam or the continuous honking sound.
In other words
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, their mentality is negatively affected
due to
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prolonged exposure
being
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apply
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on the roads. From the perspective of environmental issues, extended travel
time
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to work or school might exacerbate the current pollution severity, especially air pollution, via the operations of their means of transport. To be more exact, vehicles tend to emit a large amount of exhaust fumes, which is the major culprit leading to the alarming level of global warming. In conclusion, I am in favour of the fact that growing
time
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spent on commuting would probably be of more drawbacks than advantages for the reasons illustrated above.

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Task Achievement
Consider strengthening your examples and making them more specific to enhance clarity and support your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the different perspectives.
Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of both sides of the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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