IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People living in large cities today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?

#people #cities #face #life #governments #move #towns
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In recent years, there have been a number of everyday problems that
people
Use synonyms
 in big
cities
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 have to cope with.
This
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 essay will discuss two major problems,
pollution
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 and
information
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 overload, which I believe should lead governments to encourage
people
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 to move to regional areas. These days, increased levels of
pollution
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 have been a great cause for concern among residents of big
cities
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. Due to high volumes of traffic, large quantities of pollutants are being released into the atmosphere, causing the degradation of air quality, which is said to be a significant contributor to various types of respiratory
disease
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diseases
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,
such
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 as lung cancer.
Additionally
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,
people
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 in big
cities
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 are being bombarded with too much
information
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 from the media, including TV, social media, and advertising, with a large proportion of
this
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information
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 being fake or exaggerated.
This
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 can lead to confusion or, in some cases, social anarchy. In my opinion, governments should do what they can to encourage city residents to move to regional areas.
Firstly
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, it will reduce the number of vehicles in
cities
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, which will definitely reduce the levels of air
pollution
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, which is hazardous to the health of citizens.
Furthermore
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, fewer
people
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 living in big
cities
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 will relieve the pressure on the housing supply, where many
people
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 are forced to live in small, uncomfortable spaces. Studies have shown that
people
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’s living spaces have a direct impact on their mental health and how they perform at work. In conclusion, severe air
pollution
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 and a bombardment of
information
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 are among the most serious problems facing city residents nowadays, and personally, I feel that authorities should encourage
people
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 to relocate to other areas to live.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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