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Band 5

In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this trend have positive or negative effect on the society

#countries #proportion #people #trend #effect #society
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It is true that the aged population is gaining ground in the number of countries where longevity is lengthened greatly by dint of higher living standards, better
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
 and serene life. In my view
,
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,
however
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,
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,
this
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 trend has both positive and negative
outcome
Suggestion
outcomes
 on the society. There are
,
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,
definitely, some clear advantageous to the society as a whole due to the
graying
(biology) the process of an individual organism growing organically; a purely biological unfolding of events involved in an organism changing gradually from a simple to a more complex level
growing
greying
 population.The higher rate of old people means that people nowadays are
more healthier
Suggestion
healthier
more healthy
 and productive than their past counterparts.
Then
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,
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,
there would be
more extended family which
Suggestion
a more extended family, which
a more extended family which
 is
the better
Suggestion
the best
 place for children to grow up.
Moreover
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, the aged groups have more life experience which would be the substantial source for the younger’s against exploiting. The upcoming trend has
,
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,
however
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,
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,
some undesirable consequences too.Among them the most crucial one is that supporting the retired people
,
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,
either the direct financial support
from
Suggestion
of
 the younger relatives or through the tax and the other beneficial systems
,
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,
would be more expensive.
In other words
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,
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,
youth
Suggestion
the youth
 has to pay more for caring them and it results dwindling the younger generation’s disposable income.What is more
,
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,
when the state supports more significantly to the older people in terms of nursing and other aged-related facilities
,
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,
the balance of the government’s funding could be negatively influenced. To address
this
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 problem
,
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,
government
Suggestion
the government
 would get more money from the other taxes and by importing workers from the other countries.
This
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eventually lead
Suggestion
eventually leads
 to the life of the civilian become more complicated as well as deteriorating the culture of the hos country. In conclusion
,
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,
it can be retire that
this
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 ever increasing phenomenon has
,
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,
indeed
,
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,
some brighter and darker side as well.
Submitted by Yihan on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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