Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

#students #study #art #music #school #support

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Undoubtedly, recently, the matter of

art

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

studying in secondary

school

Use synonyms

and its corresponding impacts has sparked a heated debate. I fully agree with

this

Linking Words

fact that

although

Linking Words

history, literature or other lessons are surely valuable to

teen

Fix the agreement mistake

teens

show examples

, it is better for students to read and learn

music

Use synonyms

and

art

Use synonyms

much more. In turn,

this

Linking Words

essay will discuss the reasons behind

this

Linking Words

fact. On the one hand, the study of

art

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

in youth age can provide

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society with some noticeable effects which are rooted in the fact that the merits of

peaceful

Correct article usage

a peaceful

show examples

life

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

happy

Correct article usage

a happy

show examples

life

Use synonyms

are inextricably bound up.

That is

Linking Words

to say that people are extremely able to gain calm when they deal with

art

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

thus

Linking Words

they must be required to learn

art

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

in secondary

school

Use synonyms

. As a tangible example, wickedness in students who learned

art

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

in secondary

school

Use synonyms

was remarkably less than others, at approximately one-sixth.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, learning

art

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

in secondary

school

Use synonyms

might decrease the consequences of unwanted events

such

Linking Words

as disappointment in teenagers. Some psychiatrists and psychologists declared that students

learnt

Correct pronoun usage

who learnt

show examples

these two craft

Change the determiner

this two craft

these two crafts

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the adult age had a more successful

life

Use synonyms

than others.

Hence

Linking Words

, studying

art

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

must be taken into account in all stages of people’s

life

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especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

in secondary

school

Use synonyms

. To summarize, some people are of the opinion that literature, history, mathematics and science must be honoured similar to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

art

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

others are opposed to

this

Linking Words

view. I am sure that

art

Use synonyms

and

music

Use synonyms

studying are much more valuable than the other sciences

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

in secondary

school

Use synonyms

Submitted by kiarashjamshidi866 on Wed Jun 24 2020

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position on the topic and the points that will be discussed in the essay.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples related to the benefits of studying art and music in secondary school. Support your points with clear and comprehensive ideas.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

foster creativity
innovative thinking
emotional well-being
reduce stress
creative expression
cultural awareness
inclusive and diverse society
cognitive development
academic performance
spatial-temporal reasoning
language development
career opportunities
creative industries
contributors to the economy

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

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