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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people argue that technological invention such as mobile phones are making people socially less interactive.

#people #invention #phones
Although
, many people believe that the growth of modern innovations has adverse effects on our society. They think that technological gadgets hinders the social interaction among humans.
However
, I think in a reverse manner and completely disagree with the given statement. My indications are justified in following paragraphs. Out of all the arguments, the strongest one to prove my view is that modern innovation has revolutionized the way we live. What I mean to say is technology has shrunk our big planet earth into a small global village.
In other words
, it bridged the gap between people. Nowadays, communication system became quite easier and accessible.
This
 is because of the invention of mobile phones.
For instance
, person can easily
Suggestion
, a person can easily
 communicate with his/her family or friends in the fraction of a
second
 living in every nook and corner using cell phones
.
Accept space
.
 The other reason to prove my point is that various social media sites act as a platform for the general public
.
Accept space
.
This
certailnly
definitely or positively ('sure' is sometimes used informally for 'surely')
certainly
 benefits the society as one can raise their voice or share their views regarding any social issue through
this
 modern gismos.
In addition
, along with the access of internet
,
Accept space
,
 mobile phone offers several useful
socio
Suggestion
sources
source
social
-websites
such
 as
facebook
Suggestion
Facebook
, twitter,
whatsapp
etc
continuing in the same way
etc.
 which can connect us to the entire world. In
this
 way we can
aquire
come into the possession of something concrete or abstract
acquire
 important information about current affairs.
Moreover
, it
also
 helps to find long-lost friends through these social sites. On contrary, some people counter claim that above mentioned support. The foremost point they put forward is that wireless phones
has
Suggestion
have
adverse effect
Suggestion
an adverse effect
 on social relations. In simple words, with the invention of devices, people get engrossed with their
gadgets especially
Accept comma addition
gadgets, especially
,
younsters
a young person of either sex
youngsters
 get hooked to the digital screen for long hours.
This
 often leads
to deteriorate
Suggestion
to deteriorating
 the family bonds due to lack of quality time.
Thus
, to wrap up the discussion, it can be said that despite the reckless use of phones results in less family time. My reasons that better communication and
reduction
Suggestion
a reduction
 in
gap
Suggestion
the gap
 between mankind are logically acceptable.
Submitted by Gursharn Veer on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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