IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

After graduation many students take a year to travel. Some think that it would be more useful to work for a year. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#graduation #students #year #travel #think #work
There is a little room for doubt that the majority of graduated students take a
year
 for travelling
instead
 of spending
this
time
on
Suggestion
at
work
. I partially agree with the point of working during a gap
year
,
Accept space
,
nevertheless
, I
also
 do not exclude the merits of travel.
This
 essay will try to
analyze
consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning
analyse
 both these views with
regards
Suggestion
regard
 to the issue of
time
 management among students. As an initial point, it is fair to say that
work
 provides not only salary, but
also
 enhancement of practical abilities.
Moreover
, the process of obtaining abilities in an exact sphere of
work
 would definitely affect the amount of acquired
experience
.
Although
, many of workplaces require professional skills which amateurs could not have.
However
, the existence of internship means the possibility of working in high-demanding jobs with the opportunity to receive a new
experience
.
In addition
 to practical abilities and
experience
, youngsters would gain a special mark in their resume which could indicate the fact of their
occupation
Suggestion
occupational
 history.
Therefore
, it might help them in searching for jobs.
Nonetheless
, currently many organizations tend to focus more on abilities rather than on marks in the summary. Despite that
,
Accept space
,
 it does not deny the supporting force of story of
work
.
On the other hand
,
such
 vacations as travelling might be the
useful
Suggestion
most useful
 pause for rest before the beginning of a new academic
year
.
Furthermore
, by the gap
year
 young generation would receive enormous amount of feelings and acquaintances. In the light of these facts, it may be reasonable to conclude that despite having a rest during the whole
year
, it is much better to spend
this
time
 on
work
 by gaining
experience
 and maintaining future. From my perspective, appropriate
time
 management requires a full
year
 or productive
work
.
Submitted by FG - Fortnite Gaming on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: