IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Ensuring that children have regular physical exercise should be the responsibility of parents and therefore schools should not waste valuable school time having sports lessons as part of the curriculum. To what extent do you agree?

#children #exercise #responsibility #parents #schools #waste #school #time #sports #lessons #part #curriculum
It goes without saying that students who have many academic achievements should be rewarded.
However
, many think that we should
also
 praise those who have made strides in their studies. On the one hand, there are obvious reasons why schools give reward to pupils with good academic performances. Simply, those with good academic results deserve praise and rewards. With high achievers in the spotlight, students who are gifted in certain subjects will be given more opportunities to nurture their talents.
Additionally
,
this
 can set an example for other students.
As a result
, students who have average or bad grades consider the highest achievers as role-models to emulate.
Such
 rewarding system
also
 creates a competitive learning environment which motivates students to work harder and aim for higher goals.
On the other hand
, rewarding students who endeavour to study and make good improvements is essential. These students have put a lot of effort into their study and their hard work should be encouraged.
This
 approach gives everybody an equal chance to earn rewards,
instead
 of just focusing on straight A students. Most of the students are only average and their best might never be nearly as good as the toppers’.
Consequently
, giving a rewards base on who has the highest scores can discourage others from trying harder.
By contrast
, students who are recognized for making significant progress during semesters will feel more motivated.
As a result
, if we adopt
this
 method, pupils will feel less disappointed when competing with their top classmates, and less stress while facing exams. In conclusion, each of these approaches has their own merits, but just doing both at the same time is not completely reasonable. As
such
, I think schools need to create a fair, rewarding system that has a bit of both sides.
Submitted by Dương Nguyễn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • structured environment
  • inclination
  • teamwork
  • sportsmanship
  • cooperation
  • academic time
  • intellectual development
  • after-school activities
  • relegated
  • family bond
  • supervised
  • well-being
  • equipment
  • expertise
  • professional physical education teachers
  • safe and beneficial
What to do next:
Look at other essays: