IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

A growing number of people feel that people should not exploit animals and that they should have rights as a human while argue that human must employ animals to satisfy their various needs.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #animals #rights
The bar graph depicts the outcome of a survey about people's habits of buying and drinking
tea
 and
coffee
 in 5 distinctive
cites
a large and densely populated urban area; may include several independent administrative districts
cities
 of Australia.
the
Suggestion
The
 data has been calibrated in
percentage
. Overview, people went to a
cafe
 for
coffee
 or
tea
 in
last
 4 weeks consumption
wear
Suggestion
Wear
 more popular in all cities except Adelaide whereas, less
percentage
 of people had fresh
coffee
 in
last
 4 weeks
.
Accept space
.
 In Sydney
,
Accept space
,
 nearly 43% residence bought fresh
coffee
 in
last
 four weeks and above 45% people had
instant
coffee
.
more
Suggestion
More
 than 60% of
population
Suggestion
the population
 went to
cafe
Suggestion
a cafe
the cafe
 for
tea
 or
coffee
.
Accept space
.
almost
Suggestion
Almost
 similar pattern wear fall by
melboume
the capital of Victoria state and 2nd largest Australian city; a financial and commercial center
Melbourne
,
Accept space
,
 for fresh and
instant
coffee
 the
percentage
 was approximately 41 and 47 respectively
.
Accept space
.
apart
Suggestion
Apart
 from
this
 Brisbane and Adelaide fresh
coffee
 consumption was same in both the
cites
assign a location to
sites
cities
 that
was
Suggestion
are
 below 35%.
further
Suggestion
Further
 elaboration,
instant
coffee
 drinking was almost double as compare to fresh
coffee
 in Brisbane and exactly 55
%
citizent went to
cafe
Suggestion
a cafe
the cafe
 for
coffee
 and
tea
.
Accept space
.
whilst
Suggestion
Whilst
percentage
 of people
was
Suggestion
were
 almost equal for
instant
coffee
 and
cafe
 sale in Adelaide
,
Accept space
,
additionally
 in
instant
coffee
percentage
 was nearly 55
% while
Accept comma addition
%, while
frsh
recently made, produced, or harvested
fresh
coffee
 was half in
Habat
a port and state capital of Tasmania
Hobart
,
Accept space
,
coffee
 and
tea
 in
cafe
percenage
a proportion in relation to a whole (which is usually the amount per hundred)
percentage
 of consumption was same as
melboune
the capital of Victoria state and 2nd largest Australian city; a financial and commercial center
Melbourne
 had (63%).
Submitted by Noor Singh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: