IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation?

#people #countryside #cities #towns #situation
In the
last
 120 years, around the
world there
Accept comma addition
world, there
 has been a frequent migration of youth from the countryside to cities and towns, leaving behind their elderly in their hometown. The main problem
this
 causes is a disappearing of entire localities from the map of countries and the most viable solution is a developing a competent immigration policy in
such
 regions. The potential problem associated with relocation by recent graduates from villages to cities with developed infrastructure is the closure of businesses and the extinction of the settlements. Since having received a diploma from a good educational institution, it will not be difficult for a young specialist to find a job in the city, after that he will move his relatives
to
Suggestion
in
this
 city for a more comfortable inhabitation. As the decrease in residents causes a chain-reaction in neighbours who do not like to live alone, thereby leading to the depletion of human resources in the locality. The result of
this
 is people leave their homes without finding those who want to buy and develop them. According to the latest UN report about the state of the world's cities, most of the cities, that will disappear, is located in Eastern Europe, and
fast
Suggestion
fastest
-growing cities are located in China. To tackle
this
 problem the local government should launch a well-built migration policy to create provincial immigration programs in low-populated areas in order to attract residents from near territories or other countries.
This
 program will allow newcomers not only to settle in the new territory, but will
also
 become an impetus in the development of sparsely populated territory.
For example
, a similar initiative in Canadian provinces leads to an increase of 8% in the population of sparsely populated areas annually. In conclusion, the preservation of the population in small towns is a major issue that can result in their disappearing,
however
, it can be addressed through the creation of provincial immigration programs for immigrants.
Submitted by Nikita on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: