The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#phone #places

With the changing time a paradigm shift has been observed that the way of people living has been changed due to

enhancement

Suggestion

the enhancement

of the technology devices. Some echelons of the society believe that

mobiles

Suggestion

mobile

phone

are

Suggestion

harmful for the mankind so it should be banned same like a smoking. I disagree with the statement because of various reasons, which I will elaborate in the following paragraphs. Smoking is

totally different concept

Suggestion

a totally different concept

as compare to mobile phones because smoking

cause

Suggestion

causes

cancer, which I believe mobile cannot do anything like that. Smoking

cause

Suggestion

causes

smoker as well as

non-smoker

a person who does not smoke tobacco

nonsmokers

. Recent research proved that the passive smoker is at more risk of cancer than active smoker

that is

why smoking is banned in the public places. Even mobiles are

also

restricted

Suggestion

some public places

such

as religious, hospitals, library and other many

place

Suggestion

places

because sometime mobile distract the people from their work

such

as in

library

Suggestion

a library

the library

libraries

in between the reading book a loud voice of mobile destroy the peace of

library

Suggestion

the library

and distract all the individuals, who are available at

time

Suggestion

a time

the time

times

their

in or at that place

there

However

, there are numerous merits the use of mobile phone.

Firstly

, mobiles are the only device

nowadays which

Accept comma addition

nowadays, which

connect the people to each other because of

this

one’s connect with their

family

Suggestion

families

and friends no matter where one

are living

Suggestion

is living

in the world.

Hence

, it

is connect

Suggestion

connects

the world as a global village.

Secondly

, mobiles are the source of education as well as entertainment.

Therefore

, we can use mobile as a book for reading book with

help

Suggestion

the help

of e books and as

Suggestion

entertainment by using

youtube

Suggestion

YouTube

or any other applications.

Thus

, people can easily find any type of material, songs, video and games as well. To recapitulate, mobiles

are play

Suggestion

are playing

play

have played

Suggestion

vital role in every individual life because of it commercial and

finically

from a financial point of view

financially

use in every sector. So, with comparison of smoking

introduces an alternative

do not believe

its

the thing named or in question

is fair enough because mobiles have a lot of

benefits but

Accept comma addition

benefits, but

smoking just have

disadvantage

Suggestion

a disadvantage

and root of cancer.

Submitted by jassalbaljinder2163 on Fri Jun 26 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

336 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

antisocial
social interactions
negative impacts
banning
regulated
completely banned
education
awareness campaigns
responsible
mobile phone use

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The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many employers find that their new employees lack sufficient interpersonal skills such as lack of ability to work with colleagues as a team. What are the causes? Can you suggest some possible solutions?

You recently went on a trip with a friend and you both took some photographs. Write a litter to your friend. In your letter ask your friend to send you cone of the photographs explain why you need that particular photograph and tell your friend what happened to your copy of it

People are living much longer than before, and this creates enormous pressure on government services. What are some of the effects of a much larger, older population and what can governments do to deal with this problem?

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than earn a lots of money. Others disagree and think that good salary leads to better life. Discuuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in team, while other people think that take part in individual sports is better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.