The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#phone #places

With the changing time a paradigm shift has been observed that the way of people living has been changed due to

enhancement

Suggestion

the enhancement

of the technology devices. Some echelons of the society believe that

mobiles

Suggestion

mobile

phone

are

Suggestion

harmful for the mankind so it should be banned same like a smoking. I disagree with the statement because of various reasons, which I will elaborate in the following paragraphs. Smoking is

totally different concept

Suggestion

a totally different concept

as compare to mobile phones because smoking

cause

Suggestion

causes

cancer, which I believe mobile cannot do anything like that. Smoking

cause

Suggestion

causes

smoker as well as

non-smoker

a person who does not smoke tobacco

nonsmokers

. Recent research proved that the passive smoker is at more risk of cancer than active smoker

that is

why smoking is banned in the public places. Even mobiles are

also

restricted

Suggestion

some public places

such

as religious, hospitals, library and other many

place

Suggestion

places

because sometime mobile distract the people from their work

such

as in

library

Suggestion

a library

the library

libraries

in between the reading book a loud voice of mobile destroy the peace of

library

Suggestion

the library

and distract all the individuals, who are available at

time

Suggestion

a time

the time

times

their

in or at that place

there

However

, there are numerous merits the use of mobile phone.

Firstly

, mobiles are the only device

nowadays which

Accept comma addition

nowadays, which

connect the people to each other because of

this

one’s connect with their

family

Suggestion

families

and friends no matter where one

are living

Suggestion

is living

in the world.

Hence

, it

is connect

Suggestion

connects

the world as a global village.

Secondly

, mobiles are the source of education as well as entertainment.

Therefore

, we can use mobile as a book for reading book with

help

Suggestion

the help

of e books and as

Suggestion

entertainment by using

youtube

Suggestion

YouTube

or any other applications.

Thus

, people can easily find any type of material, songs, video and games as well. To recapitulate, mobiles

are play

Suggestion

are playing

play

have played

Suggestion

vital role in every individual life because of it commercial and

finically

from a financial point of view

financially

use in every sector. So, with comparison of smoking

introduces an alternative

do not believe

its

the thing named or in question

is fair enough because mobiles have a lot of

benefits but

Accept comma addition

benefits, but

smoking just have

disadvantage

Suggestion

a disadvantage

and root of cancer.

Submitted by jassalbaljinder2163 on Fri Jun 26 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

336 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

antisocial
social interactions
negative impacts
banning
regulated
completely banned
education
awareness campaigns
responsible
mobile phone use

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
There are a variety of reasons why scientists experiment with animals ranging from cosmetic to behavioural and pharmaceutical. I believe that some of these are easier to justify than others but there are also alternatives to animal testing that need to be developed further.
<4
band
The rise of social media has affected personal, relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, the development of social and the more popular it be , people seem to have kept away from realtionships and society, it also affected on personal. This writer think that cons of beautifying profile and keeping news on social media superior to pros.
7.5
band
Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places
The number of sightseers visiting museums and ancient sites is significantly more compared to the number of locals. The interest in seeing museums and historical sites is very low among residents people. The government can issue several measures to motivate locals to visit these places more often.
4.5
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this Statement?
In this contemporary era, some individuals consider that the initial target for scientists have to be improving people's lives, I certainly disagree with this attitude. In this essay, I will support my idea and I'm going to give some examples.
6
band
There are different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is traditional music of a country more important tha international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?
In this day of age, different kinds of music genres can be found in the globe. There is no doubt that music is of critical importance for people for several reasons. Despite the huge popularity of international music, I unswervingly believe that traditional melody is still more important.

The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

The rise of social media has affected personal, relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this Statement?

There are different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is traditional music of a country more important tha international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?