IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many foods are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more beneficial both environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

Exporting and consuming the imported
food
Use synonyms
 has become a global trend.
While
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Food
Use synonyms
 trade is a profitable business, some people argue that consuming local
food
Use synonyms
 is more beneficial for
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 and
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of both versions of the argument and will present my view on the latter. On one hand, some people argue that relying on imported
food
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 will help to address the demand for supply of
food
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.
While
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 it is true that importing
food
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 saves a lot of time,
thus
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 easing the entire supply chain mechanism, there
are
Verb problem
is are
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 high
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
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 of putting health at risk. Foods are often perishable goods
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 to improve the
life
Check wording
shelf life
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 of the
food
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, exporters use a variety of preservatives
while
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 packaging the
food
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. These foods, when consumed, will have a wide range of
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
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 on the digestive system of the consumers.
This
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 practice may be suitable for some countries with geographical
disadvantages
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disadvantages,
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 where they may not have enough land to cultivate and produce their own
food
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.
For example
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, Singapore has a very limited scope for farming and
hence
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this
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 country completely relies on its
neighboring
Use the right word
neighbouring
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 countries for
supply
Correct article usage
the supply
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 of
food
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, I would argue that consuming local
food
Use synonyms
 has a great range of benefits. First and foremost, locally produced
food
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 is available at a very affordable price
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they are often nutritious as it doesn’t take much time to reach the consumers.
Also
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, consuming the local
food
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 will generate a demand for supply
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
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 will help uplift the related industries like agriculture, farming,
local
Correct word choice
and local
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food
Use synonyms
 trade businesses. If
food
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 is produced in abundance, it can be
monetized
Use the right word
monetised
show examples
 by exporting to other countries. In a nutshell, after taking all the above points into consideration, I firmly believe that consuming local
food
Use synonyms
 has a clear edge over importing
food
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the advantages outweigh the disadvantages at scale.

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structure
Plan your essay. Make a map before you write to keep each idea clear and linked to the task.
coherence
Use better links between ideas. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and use simple joining phrases.
content
Give stronger proof for your points. Mention why a point matters and back it with a real example.
grammar
Care for grammar and short, clean sentences. Break long sentences into two to avoid mistakes.
focus
Stay focused on local versus imported food. Do not add ideas not tied to this task.
strength
The essay has a clear aim to compare local and imported food.
strength
A real country example (Singapore) is used to support a point.
strength
Some good links and flow in places, showing a sense of order.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • transportation
  • environmentally friendly
  • economically beneficial
  • local farmers
  • local economy
  • fresher
  • nutritious
  • food security
  • imports
  • preserving
  • traditional farming practices
  • biodiversity
  • limited variety
  • availability
  • cost
  • contributor
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