Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others believe it is the only way to save these traditions. Discuss on both sides and give your opinion.

It is true that traditional cultures have attracted more and more visitors and have generated extreme profit for
tourism industry
Suggestion
the tourism industry
. While I tend towards the viewpoint that local cultures should not
being
Suggestion
be
exploited for earning money from travellers, I believe that there is a better alternative to preserve these customs. On the one hand, there are clear arguments against
culture
commodification
. When traditions are treated like commodities, it would be changed to satisfy
tourists
Suggestion
tourists'
tourist
needs. As
consequence
Suggestion
a consequence
, financial profits gained can lead to
culture
erosion which damages local customs. A significant example is The Mosuo Tribe in China, where locals
have changed
Suggestion
change
their daily activities in order to deliver
visitors
Suggestion
visitors'
visitor's
experience and gain money from those travellers. In result, the traditional way of life has been replaced with tourist services, which brings more money for local people.
On the other hand
, the protection from local
government
is a trusted way to prevent an indigenous
culture
from elimination. To explain, the financial budget from the
government
stably support resident of attractions maintain their conventions.
Furthermore
, the local authorities can help attractions receive public awareness, which brings to local people not only donations but
also
numerous
supporting
exhibiting or calling for sportsmanship or fair play
sporting
activities
from
Suggestion
of
individuals.
For example
, several indigenous attractions in North Viet Nam have been supported by charities and volunteers after fundraising events hosted by the
government
. As
result
Suggestion
a result
, these traditions have been survived, and the cultures of these places are widely spreading not only to domestic but
also
to
outlanders
Suggestion
Outlanders
. In conclusion, it seems to me that the drawbacks of
culture
Suggestion
cultural
commodification
outweigh the benefits, and the local
government
plays
Suggestion
play
a vital role in saving these indigenous cultures.
Submitted by Tuan Anh Dang on

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Commercialization
  • Dilution of cultural traditions
  • Authenticity
  • Cultural heritage
  • Revenue
  • Financial support
  • Preservation
  • Promotion
  • Commodification of culture
  • Intrinsic value
  • Exposure
  • Global awareness
  • Respect and understanding
  • Economic gain
  • Local communities
  • Decision-making processes
  • Respectful portrayal
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