Recent advances in medical science have resulted in increased life expectancy over the past few years. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#advances #science #life #expectancy #years

Modern medical science has helped us

in living

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to live

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a longer life. In my opinion, the positives eclipse the disadvantages in many ways.

While

there are many advantages, getting more time to live with our family and

increased

Correct article usage

an increased

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chance of success are definitely some of the most important ones.

Firstly

, because of

modern era

Add a hyphen

modern-era

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medicines and treatments, diseases are easily curable, which keeps us alive for many additional years with our loved ones. It allows us to contribute more towards their well-being.

For example

, a few decades ago children were often orphaned at a young age, which left them vulnerable and lonely.

Hence

, having our parents around to guide us even when we are legally

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

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, surely has some advantages.

Additionally

, a longer life boosts the chance of our success. It not only helps us to dedicate additional years to our education

Remove the comma

apply

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but

also

increases

working

Correct pronoun usage

our working

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span,

thus

, the opportunity

of achieving

Change preposition

to achieve

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more in the long run.

For instance

, someone with more than 15 years of education has a greater chance of getting a higher salary, than others.

Therefore

, if achievement and fulfilment are the goals, the same could not have been completed without getting to survive for a longer time with the help of modern diagnosis and medical science. In conclusion,

latest

Correct article usage

the latest

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technologies associated with medical science are a boon to

the

Correct article usage

apply

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human kind

Correct your spelling

humankind

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because

Correct word choice

and because

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which

Correct pronoun usage

this

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we have been enjoying the beautiful world around us much more than our previous generations.

Moreover

, it has aided in our success too, making our life more meaningful.

Submitted by amritadey2904 on Sat Jun 27 2020

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task response

Ensure that the essay fully addresses the question prompt and provides a clear opinion on the topic.

coherence and cohesion

The essay demonstrates a logical progression of ideas, with clear introduction and conclusion.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Recent advances in medical science have resulted in increased life expectancy over the past few years. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think this iş a positive or negatife development

Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up.

Some people think that increasing communication usage of computers and mobile phones by young people has had a negative effect on their reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Getting promotions is one of the biggest drives for people to apply themselves and work hard in the modern workplace. Why do you think people are so driven to get promotion? What other factors influence people to work hard?