IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that money spent on space exploration is a waste and could be better used to fund other urgent problems in society.

#people #money #space #exploration #waste #fund #society
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Many people believe that there is no point in spending a huge amount of
money
Use synonyms
 on space exploration and it could be better used for devoting
money
Use synonyms
 to fund other urgent problems in society. From my
personal personal
concerning or affecting a particular person or his or her private life and personality
personal
 perspective,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 wholly agree that people should use
money
Use synonyms
 to spare for some
importunate
of great significance or value
important
 issues afterward.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is widely supposed that space exploration is a long
run which
Accept comma addition
run, which
 promise taking
amount
Suggestion
the amount
 of massive
money
Use synonyms
 and effort in order to dig into a mass of mysterious universe and investigate a perfect plant outside the earth that human can live in
.
Accept space
.
However
Linking Words
, after
exporing
inquire into
exploring
 a big number of planets, mankind still
stucks
caught or fixed
stuck
sticks
stocks
 in finding out a planet which
have
Suggestion
has
advantagous
the quality of having a superior or more favorable position
advantages
 elements to
mantain
keep in a certain state, position, or activity; e.g., "keep clean"
maintain
mention
mountain
 life.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of investing
to
Suggestion
in
 the ideas that have no future, why don’t we spend
money
Use synonyms
 saving the earth and protecting our own society? I strongly believe that if people stop investing a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 in exploring
universe
Suggestion
the universe
 to give cash for funding, our community will become better and better thanks to the supplements from governments and NGO to charity funds. Children will be able to have the
oppotunity
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunity
 to
accesss
the right to enter
access
 into a high-quality education. People in poor countries would no longer suffer from famine. Governments always have
enomous
extraordinarily large in size or extent or amount or power or degree
enormous
soures
similar things placed in order or happening one after another
series
sours
 of reserved funds for helping people in disaster areas due to social funds
.
Accept space
.
 In summary, many people prone to the idea that
money
Use synonyms
 should be given to government’s fund
instead
Linking Words
 of investing
on
Suggestion
in
 space exploration. In my opinion,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea as mankind
need
Suggestion
needs
 to deal with a range of impending issues before thinking about the others
Submitted by masaki suda on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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