IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Subjects like arts, music and drama are more important than other school subjects and therefore should be given more time in the calendar. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays the trend of adding after
school
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 activities like drama, music,
art
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, and sport in
school
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 subjects. Some people believe that
this
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 is a trap designed by the
school
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 to increase the fees, but I do not agree with
this
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 viewpoint.
To begin
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 with, adding slots for extracurricular activities like music,
art
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 and drama not only helps to develop
art
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 skills, but
also
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 helps in mental growth, and since approves it.
Firstly
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, it activates the frontal cortex of the brain, which is responsible for critical thinking which helps in complex tasks,
for example
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, math problems.
Furthermore
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,
study
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 approves that a hybrid class like a combination of
art
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 activity and traditional subject helps a person to
study
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 faster and effectively
for example
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; A combination of history and drama, helps a child to remember history more effectively; science and lab activities are excellent mixtures to understand scientific phenomena and the easiest way to understand biology is nature visits. Apart from the academic benefits, non-academic subjects help children alleviate academic pressure on children. These subjects give students a break from the regular subject to develop their skills.
In addition
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, the institute can provide a platform to the child who does not have adroitness in the
study
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, but has dexterity in
art
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 activities and
this
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 platform can help a child to find out their interest and skill in the early stage of adolescence. To add more, the early realization will help kids and parents to choose his career carefully in the future. To conclude, including
art
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, sport and hybrid activity in
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school timetable
Suggestion
the school timetable
 helps students to develop the mind,
study
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 better and choose a career;
therefore
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 the government and institutions should have to add it in modern pedagogical methods.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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