Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions

Earning a large amount of money than professionals who work in other important jobs is acceptable for successful elite athletes. Some of the society thinks

this

is fair while others may argue that it is

exaggeration

Suggestion

an exaggeration

. I am going to discuss these views according to my experience. On the one hand, sports professionals deserve a great compensation for what they do because they dedicate their whole life to be what they are now. It is a long pathway to be elite

athlete which

Accept comma addition

athlete, which

is started by training from

young age

Suggestion

a young age

to adult. It takes at least five to ten years. Performing on the field

that is

hard and can be dangerous increases their opportunity to get

injury

Suggestion

injured

or worse which can risk their life.

Besides

, some of sport branches need equipment

that is

consuming a great deal more money.

On the other hand

, salary counting for them can be overcharge. When they reach the age that are not productive

anymore they

Accept comma addition

anymore, they

still get

the high

Suggestion

the higher

rate. Some of the athletes who are paid greatly are not talented enough. They are only popular.

This

kind of sportsmen

are usually use

Suggestion

is usually used

is usually using

usually uses

their connection and follower to get sport advertisement or sponsor to boost their popularity. To sum up I personally think that sports professionals who dedicate their life for the country by trained hard to be elite athletes and won the championships deserve a great deal of money.

This

such

a kind of appreciation to value their passion and enhance their motivation to do better

Suggestion

about

for

the future.

Submitted by Marina Hardiyanti on Sun Jun 28 2020

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial remuneration
exceptional
merit
talent
demand
entertainment value
career span
physical demands
justified
unfair
criticism
income inequality
societal priorities
sportsmanship

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Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crimes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that it is better for children to grow up in the countryside, while others argue that living in cities is more beneficial. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Studies have shown that most criminals have low levels of education. Because of this many believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate prisoners so they can get a job after being released. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on social relationships. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that now is the best time in history to be living. What is your opinion about this? What other time in history would be interesting to live in?