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Band 6.5

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions
Earning a large amount of money than professionals who work in other important jobs is acceptable for successful elite athletes. Some society thinks
this
 is fair while others may argue that it is an exaggeration. I am going to discuss these views according to my experience. On the one hand, sports professionals deserve a great compensation for what they do because they dedicate their whole life to be what they are now. It is a long pathway to be an elite
athlete which
Accept comma addition
athlete, which
 is started by training from a young age to an adult. It takes at least five to ten years. Performing on the field
that is
 hard and can be dangerous increases their opportunity to get injured or worse which can risk their life.
Besides
, some sport branches need equipment
that is
 consuming a great deal more money.
On the other hand
, salary counting for them can be an overcharge. When they reach the age
that is
 not
productive
Suggestion
produced
anymore they
Accept comma addition
anymore, they
 still get a high rate. Some of the athletes who are paid greatly are not talented enough. They are only popular. These kinds of sportsmen are usually using their connection and follower to get sports advertisement or sponsor to boost their popularity. To sum up I think that sports professionals who dedicate their lives to the country by trained hard to be elite athletes and won the championships deserve a great deal of money.
This
 is
such
 a kind of appreciation to value their passion and enhance their motivation to do better in the future.
Submitted by Marina Hardiyanti on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial remuneration
  • exceptional
  • merit
  • talent
  • demand
  • entertainment value
  • career span
  • physical demands
  • justified
  • unfair
  • criticism
  • income inequality
  • societal priorities
  • sportsmanship
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