IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #schools #reward #students #show #results #improvements
The question of whether students making progress in their studies or those with the highest marks should be rewarded continue to be controversial and baffles many pedagogical experts these days. There are valid opinions on both sides, which I will now consider. On the one hand, some people feel that giving awards to students who have the best academic performance would keep them studying hard and motivate them to acquire more and more knowledge.
In addition
, it might
also
 be said that
this
 would hopefully deter these genious and talented students from taking up different pointless and sometimes even detrimental pursuits,
for example
, playing video games and watching pornographic videos, because receiving prizes,
such
 as a certain sum of money, smartphone or any other valuable and useful item can give more pleasure than the ecstasy they tend to derive from carrying out these activities.
By contrast
, those who support the other view, state that rewarding students making academic improvements would cause them to progress in their learning even more. They point to the evidence from certain states of the US,
such
 as New York and California, where the widespread practice of
this
 tactic during the past several years has led to a higher scholastic achievement among students.
Furthermore
, proponents of giving material incentives to students progressing in the educational environment contend that
this
 would augment their interest in learning. They say that because of wanting to get a prize, these students would invest more time and effort into their studies, which is likely to gradually increase their fascination for academic disciplines. Overall, I feel that it is more important to reward students proving progress rather than those who constantly achieve the highest grades because
this
 seems to have the potential to increase their interest in learning and encourage them to make even more significant improvements.
Submitted by Tolib Latipov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: