The purpose of businesses is to make money and they should concentrate only on this. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, lots of companies are encouraged in established by the governments to promote international
business
. There is an
opinon
a personal belief or judgment that is not founded on proof or certainty
opinion
that people who doing
business
should focus on the
profit
and
that is
the only thing they need to concentrate.
Nevertheless I
Accept comma addition
Nevertheless, I
partly agree with that belief. On one hand, making money is a
hugh
greater than normal in degree or intensity or amount
high
motivation for people to
working
Suggestion
work
, especially while there are many stresses
pressure
Suggestion
pressures
on the staffs.
Also
numerous companies
have been go
Suggestion
have been going
have been gone
out of
business
because they could not balance their finance. Eventually,
that is
imposible
not capable of occurring or being accomplished or dealt with
impossible
to maintain a
business
without
profit
, even a
charity
Suggestion
charitable
organization still need money from various
source
Suggestion
sources
.
On the other hand
, ethics and personnel are important as well as the
profit
. A
business
could not be successful while selling poor quality products with high
prize
the property of having material worth (often indicated by the amount of money something would bring if sold)
price
or using producing process that harm the environment. Consumers will not select that
products
Suggestion
product
.
Also
the quality of staff should be concentrated too. If the employees feel happy with their works, productivity will be much better. In conclusion,
profit
is very
important but
Accept comma addition
important, but
it is not the only thing which
make
Suggestion
makes
a
business
sustainable. One successful
business
need
Suggestion
needs
to harmonise between
profit
an other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
features
Suggestion
feature
.
Submitted by Đinh Minh Thành on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial sustainability
  • Profit margin
  • Corporate social responsibility (CSR)
  • Stakeholder
  • Socio-economic impact
  • Ethical business practices
  • Customer retention
  • Brand loyalty
  • Workforce morale
  • Innovation
  • Sustainable growth
  • Competitive edge
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