IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#students #work #results #time #education #pressure
Some students
work
 while studying.
This
 often results in lacking time for studying which would make them under a great pressure especially through exam days.
First
 of all, lets know why students
work
 while studying. Some students
work
 to afford their university or school fees, and others
work
 to get extra marks. But most of the students
work
 to afford the high cost of
education
. At many colleges and universities ask for a lot of money, which the family couldn’t afford so the students must look for a job. That’s in my point of view the major cause of
this
 Solutions that could be done to stop
this
 can come from the Government by lowering the fees or making the higher
education
 free of charge for all. Another way is by decreasing the amount of
work
 time and increasing the
work
 opportunities and the money taken from these jobs. A different solution that some universities and colleges started to
work
 in is a free online
education
that is
 available for all.
For example
, the university of the people is an online university that offers a bachelor, masters, and PhD degrees. At
last
, I believe that the lack of funding is the main reason why students
work
 while in
education
, but
this
 problem could be solved by either making the higher
education
 free of charge not only the national students but
also
 for the international ones
also
 or by heading to online learning which is much easier to afford than traditional
education
.
Submitted by omar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial necessity
  • Tuition
  • Living costs
  • Employability
  • Work experience
  • Under pressure
  • Mismanagement
  • Time-management
  • Academic pursuits
  • Flexible part-time study
  • Financial aid
  • Scholarships
  • Bursaries
  • Collaboration
  • Integrated programs
  • Education
  • Work-life balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: