IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In some countries people who visit art galleries are reducting. What are the reason forthis how can this problem be solved.

#countries #people #visit #art #galleries #reason #forthis
In modern life, visiting
art
 galleries are decreased. Today, people are neglect to the
art
.
This
 essay will discuss the reasons why visit
art
 galleries are decreasing and how can we solve that
problem
. I represent some ways to solve those problems. Evidence suggests some people spend a lot of time on the internet. Actually, it indicated they have more entertainment from the past.
Moreover
, they don’t attention to
art
, so they don’t go to a gallery. Museums and galleries should do something to persuade people to go there.
For example
, museums in the world can represent some of
art
 on the internet or schools can teach to the children about the arts’ rule. To illustrate that, educating is important and educating can one way to solve that
problem
. The other way, they open galleries at the weekend when more people work off. So people can use the off time to visit galleries.
Secondly
, some galleries tickets are more expensive and families can’t afford to buy them. Actually, families prefer to spend money for food or other stuff things. But
this
problem
 can be solved, if
galleries attend
Accept comma addition
galleries, attend
 to families
such
 as can reduce the price of galleries tickets or some days they sale tickets with just 50 percentage of the real price. So the families can buy tickets. Summary, considering the points that discussed above,
art
 ha important rule in real life, but today, people have a lot of entertainment and don’t go to the galleries.
However
, there are several ways to solve that
problem
.
Submitted by seddigheh ramezani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: