IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Due to the increasing world demands for oil and gas energy, people need to look for new resources of energy in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages of locating these sources outweigh the disadvantages?

#world #demands #oil #gas #energy #people #resources #places #sources
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
As a consequence of the growing demand for non-renewable
energy
Use synonyms
, people need to make considerable effort to find other sources of
energy
Use synonyms
 in distant places. I believe that the benefits of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon overshadow the downsides. On the one hand, two major advantages involved in
this
Linking Words
 effort.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it would provide more opportunities to seek alternative
energy
Use synonyms
 sources to completely replace non-renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 supplies
such
Linking Words
 as oil and gas.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the problem of fossil fuel depletion could be enormously tackled, which in turn makes a great contribution to the prosperity of a nation.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the inhabitants in remote areas could gain a wide range of benefits of technological developments and facilities.
This
Linking Words
 is because governments have to put more financial resources into upgrading and expanding the transportation system if they had a desire to make full use of these alternative supplies.
Moreover
Linking Words
, oil and gas factories established in these places would create more employment chances for local people, reducing the unemployment rate.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, several disadvantages can not be simply underestimated.
To begin
Linking Words
, an attempt to search for other sources of
energy
Use synonyms
 may pose a serious threat to the distant regions. To illustrate, industrial factories would discharge chemical waste into rivers or lands and
therefore
Linking Words
 putting local people’s health at higher risks
such
Linking Words
 as cancer or cardiovascular diseases.
Besides
Linking Words
, fossil fuel power stations built in these places might release a huge amount of toxic gas emissions into the air, which conduces to an increase in the pollution of the atmosphere. Not only can the environment surrounding these areas be severely contaminated, but the lives of thousands of people might be in danger. In conclusion, despite some demerits derived from locating new sources of
energy
Use synonyms
 in remote and untouched places, the pros still outweigh the cons.
Submitted by Hào Phạm on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: