IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

One of the major problems that faces today's government is creating enough satisfactory housing for their increasing population whilst still trying to protect the environment.

#government #population #whilst #environment
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modernization era, governments are facing a lot of difficulty, including creating enough accommodations for the rise in their populations while still have to care about the environmental problems. In my opinion, governments should concentrate on using materials which are more
evironmetally
Suggestion
 friendly. To start with, the house is the basic need of the citizens. People are exploring various options to choose materials.
First
Linking Words
 of all, construction materials are over-exploited leading to exhaustion. People need to find other resources to replace the normal materials. Some of the materials are friendly to the
environment
Use synonyms
 like bamboo, reusable wood or rock should be used more in building constructions.
Secondly
Linking Words
, artificial materials are not only harmful to our health, but
also
Linking Words
 threads to the
environment
Use synonyms
. Some materials that
last
Linking Words
 forever and can not be destroyed by the
environment
Use synonyms
 causes danger to Earth.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, governments can concentrate on some science projects on creating friendly materials. If the scientist has enough investment, they will be able to find the way to protect the
environment
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, using environmental materials can decrease the energy use and save the exhausted resources. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 is still a future problem, but is a big concern for human being.
Hence
Linking Words
, the leaders should be active and ready with many options. If the
environment
Use synonyms
 is respected, we will have a sustainable ally to live with.
Submitted by Hứa Trần Phương Thảo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: