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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The diagrams below show the design for a wave-energy machine and its location. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. Writing task 1

The diagrams below show the design for a wave-energy machine and its location. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. Writing task 1
#diagrams #show #design #wave-energy #machine #location #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given images represent a wave-energy machine, and its modern updates, but
also
 the place where it can be located. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I am going to examine both images and give a relevant conclusion. The first image relates
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
wave-energy machine and the way
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
functioning
Wrong verb form
functions
show examples
. As we can see the main characteristics of the machinery are: the turbine,
electricity
Correct article usage
the electricity
show examples
 generator, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
two chambers. These are the main features necessary for
this
 mechanism to function.
Comparing
Wrong verb form
Compared
show examples
 with the old model of
this
 kind, the difference
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
 the new one is given by the two chambers. These two separate rooms allow
water
 to enter
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the first space, which after
that is
 transformed into
air
Add an article
the air
show examples
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is pushed into the
second
 chamber.
For
this
reason
Add a comma
,reason
show examples
 the modern model is faster, and it can produce more energy
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 the old one. The
second
 image illustrates the areas where
this
 mechanism can be found and
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 construction of it. As we can see they are fully
depended
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
 on
water
Add an article
the water
show examples
 and
this
 is the main factor which
determinate
Replace the word
determines
show examples
 the cost. Deeper
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
 means a higher construction and inevitably a higher budget for the finishing of the project.
On the other hand
, if the
water
 is more shallow,
then
 the installation price is
with
Change preposition
without
show examples
no
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 doubt lower.
Submitted by Ana on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second, that is".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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