Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay at home with the family

People have different opinions about whether young people should leave

home

when they grow up or not. While some parents argue that the young leave

home

when they become older, I think that they should live with their family. On the one hand, there are some reasons why the young should leave

home

when they grow up.

Firstly

, young people might be independent and make diction by themselves, if they live on their own. Some people leave their

home

when they are 18 or less and it is observed and getting popular in some counties nowadays.

Secondly

, the young should live by themselves, when they become older in order to provide themselves with money because parents always want to help their children

as a result

, children may

dependence

Suggestion

depend

on their parents even they grow up. Despite the arguments above, in my view, the young stay at

home

with the family. The result of leaving

home

when people become older, The number of young people who committed a crime is

Suggestion

going

up day by day.

In addition

, parents have looked after their children in the past and now children should take care them as elderly people

need be helped by

Suggestion

need to be helped by

people who love them. By the way, big families are better than small ones since they help one another and close together all the time. In conclusion, I believe that the young ought to live with their family when they grow up,

Although

some parents think young people to leave

home

when they become older.

Submitted by Raziya on Wed Jul 01 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of people to take care of the environment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
How to take care of the environment and who is in charge of taking care Has been the arguable point from the beginning of new century . Opponent of this subject support that making progress indivually does not make any noticeable changes and encourage states to escale up and take charge . Others argue that making progress individually worth the hassle . In this essay . I agree with notion as subject it should be in industrial .
7.5
band
Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that leisure activities have to be complex to be amusing. However, this essay will disagree with the said statement. I believe that hobbies are chosen for their calming benefits as well as a necessity for not challenging activities in order to leave their routine.
7
band
It has been suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
In the current era, growing vegetables and keeping animals by students who just started school were suggested. There are numerous advantages and disadvantages to learning how to grow vegetables and preserve creatures which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. As far as I am concerned the drawbacks outweigh the benefits.
5.5
band
In some countries, the government promotes public transport as the primary means of transportation and discourages private vehicle ownership. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation
It is an undeniable fact that ensuring road safety is essential for individuals. Whereas in some countries the government promotes public transport as the primary source of transportation and demoralised ownership of private vehicles. I believe that ensuring transport assurance cannot be fully achieved by only this. It will require more effort. Therefore, the merits do not outshine the de-merits.
<4
band
Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the travellers?
It is undeniable that education has made great strides from the past to the present. Nevertheless, statistics show that people's interest in education is growing rapidly every year. It is true that education means a lot in our modern world.

Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay at home with the family

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of people to take care of the environment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It has been suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, the government promotes public transport as the primary means of transportation and discourages private vehicle ownership. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the travellers?