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Band 4.5

NOW A DAYS MORE AND MORE YOUNG PEOPLE HOLD THE IMPORTANT POSITIONS IN THE GOVERNMENT. SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT THIS IS A GOOD THING WHILE OTHERS ARGUE THAT IT IS NOT SUITABLE. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

#people #positions #government
In
Suggestion
With
 the government, new generations are starting to play the important role in development their own
country
. Some people say that these young people are still lack of experience, while the others say that these new faces will going to
change
 the
country
 in some others
way
. In the
next
 paragraphs, we are going to discuss both perspectives, whether
this
 is a good thing or not. In the
first
 perspective, young people do not have enough work experience to manage the
country
.
Although
, they may either have a PhD degree or graduate from high competition, college, it is still too risky to hand over the important positions to them. The education
may demonstrates
Suggestion
may demonstrate
 that one is clever, but that does not
guranteen
give surety or assume responsibility
guarantee
 one's work capability. In the
second
 perspective, the new wave may give us the vital
change
 for the
country
's future, either a better
way
 or worse
way
. If the young people have a chance to hold the important positions in government, we will see our
country
 changes in a different
way
. In my opinion, I think
this
 is
way
Suggestion
a way
 to
change
 a
country
. In my
country
, the old one have
hold
Suggestion
held
this
 position for a very long time and have devastated
this
country
 pride markedly. So, people want a
change
, no matter it will be a positive or negative
change but
Accept comma addition
change, but
 people cannot stand still and see these people destroy our
country
 anymore. If I have a chance to choose, I would definitely have chosen the new generation for developing our
country
.
Submitted by Mharnsingh on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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