A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #responsibility #citizens #safety #people #defense

Some people believe that since

government

Suggestion

the government

has the responsibility to ensure its citizen’s safety, they should spend more on

defense

(military) military action or resources protecting a country against potential enemies

defence

and spend less on social benefits. While others argue that it does not make sense allocating a huge amount of money on

defense

(military) military action or resources protecting a country against potential enemies

defence

. I would say that there are more advantages with spending on social benefits in comparison to spending on

defense

(military) military action or resources protecting a country against potential enemies

defence

and I will explain my reasons in

this

assay. One the one hand, if political authorities treat other countries in a peaceful manner, they do not need to bother themselves about possible wars.

Consequently

, they do not have to spend lots of money on making weapons and on defending themselves.

For instance

, I know several peaceful countries, like Denmark or other European countries which are very peaceful and

also

experts say that they are the best countries that people could live in.

On the other hand

, the huge demand for various social benefits is undeniable. Nowadays, people might not receive the best treatment or even the simplest medications, just because they can not effort it.

Moreover

, in order to make a productive society, it is vital to provide a good education to individuals, which could be extremely expensive most of

the the

definite article

the

times. Investing the sources on raising student funds or even on building free education systems, is more beneficial for both citizens and government. In conclusion, it is true that some people claim

government

Suggestion

the government

should spend more on

defense

(military) military action or resources protecting a country against potential enemies

defence

However

, in my

opinion it

Accept comma addition

opinion, it

is totally unnecessary and providing social benefits like free health care and education is more crucial for residents.

Submitted by nicky nabavi on Thu Jul 02 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

national security
sovereignty
foreign entities
military sector
economic growth
inequality
vulnerable populations
elderly
disabled
unemployed
social stability
public health
balanced approach
appropriate funding
nation’s needs
priorities

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A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The internet has changed the way information is consumed and shared among people. What are some serious issues a person can face associated with the internet, and what solutions can be implemented?

In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g., literature, history), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g., physics, mathematics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that children should be raised by all the family members (eg: uncle, aunt and grandparents) rather than only parents. Give your opinion. #people #children #members #eg #uncle #aunt #grandparents #parents